Who Buys All of This Weed?

I hear a lot of talk around here about the potential impact to our local economy from the impending legalization of cannabis. Suddenly, dope yuppies who, just a few years ago, weren’t even registered to vote, now spend money on lobbyists to convince lawmakers to construct a legalization framework that keeps the money pouring into the pockets of the same people who have profited from prohibition for more than 30 years.

Dope yuppies have never cared about anyone but themselves, and the bankers and merchants who make dire predictions about our local economy, would be every bit as concerned about the potential loss in revenue if this county’s chief economic export were underage prostitutes and child-pornography. Money is money, after all.

I don’t hear any mention, however, of the people who buy and consume all of this weed. As one of those proud pot smoking Americans, I am even more fed-up with the outrageously high price of black-market weed than I am with cops sticking their noses in places they don’t belong. While everyone pays for narco cops and prison guards, only cannabis consumers pay these ridiculous prices. Let’s take a look at the people who buy the cannabis grown in the Emerald Triangle, to see where all of this economic prosperity we enjoy, comes from.

A recent study found that half of all cannabis consumers have not graduated from high-school. Some of those kids don’t have a high- school diploma because they are still in school. I mean. why do you think they call it “high” school?

Some of those kids dropped out of school to grow or sell cannabis as a career, but most of them end up in shitty low-wage jobs. The people who cook and serve your food, wash your dishes, change your oil and clean your offices and hotel bathrooms all smoke weed, and they all pay way too much of their hard-earned money for it.

The people who work at Walmart smoke weed. The people who work at McDonald’s smoke weed. Almost every low-wage worker in America smokes weed, or they would, if they could afford it. Low-wage workers often spend more money on pot than they do on food. They do without basic necessities like clothing, like housing, so that they can afford marijuana, because marijuana makes their lives tolerable. High prohibition prices keep them poor and insures that they can never afford to buy their own home, start their own business or get more education. The people who buy marijuana today pay for it with their lives. They pay for it with their futures.

Other low-wage workers turn to alcohol, because under prohibition, a few dried cannabis flowers costs more than a big bottle or brewed, fermented, distilled and bottled liquor. People literally choose to sacrifice their health to alcohol, rather than the precious income it would cost to switch to cannabis. A lot of people have quit drinking, by switching to cannabis, and it has saved their lives.

A lot more people would do the same, if cannabis didn’t cost so much. All across America, the people who can least afford it, pay way too much money for marijuana, or do without, when it could really help them. High cannabis prices cause an enormous amount of unnecessary suffering especially among the poor.

People all over America consume cannabis to relieve stress, but high prohibition prices make cannabis itself, unnecessarily stressful. Artificially inflated, prohibition pricing completely undermines the ability of cannabis to relieve stress in the vast majority of it’s consumers. Unless you grow your own, or have more money than you know what to do with, you don’t know what it means to have plenty of weed, and not to have to stress about how much it costs. Cannabis is only effective as medicine, if people can easily afford it.

Millions of Americans enjoy cannabis, millions more rely on cannabis for medicine, and still millions more of us do both. We deserve a break! We are the ones who dragged this state, and the unholy cadre of drug-dealers turned special interest group, kicking and screaming towards legalization. Both the state, and drug dealers have taken advantage of us for decades. We’re sick of it! Now that legalization will finally happen, no thanks to them, they act as though they are still entitled to our money.

The Nerve!

10 Great Ideas to Bring More Traffic to Your Blog

10 Great Ideas to Bring More Traffic to Your Blog

When I started this blog, over two years ago now, I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t understand why people wrote blogs, or what made one blog more popular that another, or why anyone reads blogs at all. I never read blogs myself. I have better things to do with my time, and feel terribly sad for those who don’t.

After a couple of years in the blogosphere, however, I have discovered that the key to understanding the blog phenomena, and to blogging successfully lies in understanding one critical fact. That fact is, people are idiots.

Yes, the web is full of suckers, in fact, the web was designed for suckers, and these suckers roam the web looking for something to suck on. If you want them to suck your blog, the first thing you have to do is:

1. Think like an idiot. If you visit the web’s most popular blogs, you’ll find yourself wondering, “Who would be stupid enough to read this tripe?” The answer is that among today’s, “media savvy” content consumers, you won’t find many with an IQ higher than your average hamster. Intelligent people think for themselves, based on their own experience, and learn from doing things themselves. Consequently, intelligent people have little use for the internet, and spend very little time online.

2. Create the illusion that you are providing useful information. Your blog should look, on first glance, as though it might really supply something useful or insightful. Of course it doesn’t, because if you knew how to do anything, you would have something better to do that write a blog.

3. State your opinion. Like the old saying goes: opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and mostly they’re full of shit. Chances are, your stupid opinion falls somewhere on the continuum of idiocy between flaming liberal and lock and load libertarian. So, no matter how pea-brained, ill-considered or moronic your opinion, most idiots will either agree, or disagree with it. This encourages “reader engagement”, and soon your blog will overflow with stupid comments.

4. Celebrity endorsements. Sure, it would be great if you could convince a major celebrity to endorse your blog, but you probably don’t know any major celebrities, and they will never return your calls because they have better things to do than read your stupid blog. Instead, to increase traffic at your blog, I suggest that you endorse some celebrities For instance, I wholeheartedly endorse Mylee Cyrus’ decision to go braless.

5. Find a way to inject some T and A into your blog. Sure, sexualized images are exploitative and degrading, besides that, they are cruel, but if it weren’t for exploitative, degrading and cruel uses of technology, we’d all still live in teepees and hunt bears with stone tipped spears. Adding T+A to your blog is as close as you can come to directly injecting your readers with drugs. Sure it’s great if people enjoy your writing, but to keep them coming back, you want them to physically desire your blog.

6. Ask a provocative question that keeps people hanging until they click on a link. For instance: Is this a picture of Tom Hanks diseased penis? Click here to find out.

7. Write about famous brand name products, like this: McDonald’s to open luxury drive through lane for Lexus owners serving Crystal champagne and Absolut Vodka bloody marys. Not only are brand names like Starbucks, GAP and KFC some of the few words that idiots rarely misspell, brand name companies tend to google themselves a lot.

8. Use lots of photographs. Idiots don’t have much of an attention span. The quickest way to get them to leave your site is to post a whole page of text without a single picture, and the best way to get an idiot to read the copy you write, is to insert an intriguing, but inscrutable photograph into it.

9. Lists. 5 reasons lists work:

   1. Eliminate the need for pesky context

   2. Suit short attention spans

   3. No need to index

   4. Easy to pad out

   5. No need to think in complete sentences

10. Offer to help people attract more traffic to their website. Everyone wants more traffic at their website. They don’t care where it comes from, or how it got there. When it comes to web traffic, more is always better. You’ll never know if people actually read your post, but on the web, all that really matters is that they looked at the page. If, after reading a sentence or two, they decide to go looking for something else, that counts as much as someone who read every word, so all you really need is a title that sucks people in, followed by a bunch of blah… blah… blah…

Try these ten tips and see if they don’t dramatically improve the stats on your blog.

On The Money, Cheap Calories

On The Money;

Economic Advice for the 99%

Cheap Calories

 

Its official. July 2012 was the hottest month in history. The last 12 months have been the hottest year in history. With the Olympics going on right now, it seems like a great time to break records, don’t you think? Maybe it’s time we gave Global Climate Crisis a gold medal for its performance this year, now that half the counties in the US have been declared disaster areas because of the heat, violent weather events, wildfires and drought.

 

I think Global Climate Crisis has really proven that it has what it takes to beat war, disease, poverty or political oppression, hands down. We’ll call the event “biggest threat to life on Earth”. This relative newcomer to the pestilence field has had to overcome a lot of obstacles to even be considered a contender, but this summer’s performance has really done a lot to remove those doubts.

 

NOAA’s chief climate scientist, James Hanson, says that this summer provides statistical proof that global climate change is real, and that it is man-made. However, if you don’t believe the evidence of your own eyes, and have gotten used to dismissing climate scientists as alarmist, Chicken Little types, statistical proof probably won’t change your opinion either. Such is the nature of denial. Reality doesn’t affect it much.

 

So, if you like triple digit temperatures, bizarre new weather events, dust-bowl-like droughts and giant wildfires, you are in luck, because we’re going to see a lot more of them. Yes, global climate change is likely to be more fun than you ever imagined. So get ready for some climate excitement, and be sure to thank the 1% for turning up the global thermostat.

 

Last year they gave us the Fukushima nuclear disaster. The year before that, it was the BP oil gusher in in the Gulf of Mexico. I can hardly wait to see what happens next year, because it only gets worse from here, but what do they get out of it?

 

Why do the 1% keep investing in fossil fuels, nuclear power, and GMO crops for that matter, even though it will almost certainly have disastrous long-term consequences? After all, if the richest 1% of us can’t take the long view, and base their decisions and devote their resources towards what’s best for the survival of life on Earth in the long run, who can?

 

Remember, that we, the 99% are just now figuring out that the 1% are ripping us off, destroying our planet, and ruining our lives, but the 1% have known that all along. The 1% knows that their empire would crumble, and that we would kill them if we ever get out from under their thumb. They really do have their hands full keeping all of us in line. Enslaving 7 billion people takes a lot of energy, and so, energy, not life on Earth, remains their highest priority.

 

If you want to watch the 1% in action in your life, look for the cheap energy. Gasoline, diesel fuel, grid electricity, natural gas, propane, aviation fuel. We wouldn’t have any of these without the 1%. Drilling platforms, nuclear power plants, oil refineries, etc. all take big capital, and the kind of government support that only really big money can afford. Whether you eat them, burn them in your car, use them to dry your clothes, watch TV, surf the internet, or fly to Miami, those cheap calories work to undermine the value of everything we do a human beings.

 

How so? Simple, you can’t possibly do as much work, in one day, as a gallon of gasoline. At today’s prices, that means your labor is worth less than $4 a day. That’s one way that cheap calories undermine your value as a human being. Cheap calories means it doesn’t cost much to ship jobs overseas to the cheapest labor markets, or to ship products and resources to the highest bidders, and cheap calories means our population continues to expand.

 

Cheap edible calories means most of us don’t ever struggle to find enough to eat. Instead, we struggle not to eat too much. By keeping food artificially plentiful, with capital intensive agribusiness techniques like high-tech factory farms, GMO food crops, and monoculture on a massive scale, the 1% has removed any sense of of our connection to the carrying capacity of of the land. As a result, global human population continues to explode exponentially, further lowering the value of any one individual.

 

So, if you want to see the 1% at work in your life, look at the places you find cheap calories; the gas station, grocery store, your electric bill, the corner convenience store or fast food restaurant. You’ll find cheap calories everywhere, and everywhere you find cheap calories, you’ll find the 1% using them to control your life and wreck your planet. Cheap calories cheapen life, and the 1% feeds them to you to keep you under control. There’s a view of the energy crisis that’s On The Money

Does Anyone Remember Laughter

Does Anyone Remember Laughter?

 

Do you remember when this blog used to be funny? You neither huh. I know its been awhile, but just hang in there. Look, it’s summertime, and sometimes I like to pretend like I have a life outside of this blog. I just need a little ME time, OK. It’s not like I don’t still deliver at least one thought-provoking essay every week.

 

My economic advice column: On The Money; Economic Advice for the 99% offers the kind of sound economic counsel that you won’t get from other pundits, the kind of advice you need to make sense of our current economic crisis, and make the decisions that will determine your future. Even though I can’t think of a more absurd or ridiculous subject than economics, I’ll admit that not everything about it is hilarious. You should read On The Money, every week, because the future is at stake, and some things are more important than a cheap laugh. There’s a little extra economic advice that’s On The Money.

 

Still, I really don’t want to lose those readers who don’t give a fuck about the future. Many of you can barely muster enough enthusiasm to get through today, let alone tomorrow, and you look to this blog for a bit of laughter that provides sweet relief from the misery of your pitiful lives. I know how you feel. I mean, I don’t really know how you feel, but if you read this blog regularly, I can’t imagine that you are a happy, well adjusted person. So I sympathize.

 

But really, what do you do for me, besides suck up my creativity? Could you leave a comment, or click the fucking like button once in a while? Is that too much to ask?!? Statistics tell me that over six-thousand people a week visit this site. Every fucking minute of every fucking day, someone is looking at this site, just sitting there, impassively, expecting me to entertain them, or inform them, or provide them with a photograph of a tattooed penis, on demand, 24-7-365, and they want to see new material every week. Even that’s not enough for them, they want new funny material every week.

 

So do I! Do you think I like going through my day without chuckling to myself about something silly. Lately, I’ve been too busy playing with my Bratz drum machine and Barbie keyboard to think of anything funny to write about. Does the irony in that statement count?

 

I have a list of unfunny projects that I absolutely have to get done this summer. I’ve got to split a few cords of firewood. Humor doesn’t help me there. Hatred, rage, and resentment go a long way toward getting that firewood chopped, humor, not so much. You don’t want to know what goes through my mind when I chop firewood, so I’ll keep that to myself.

 

Even the TV networks go into reruns in the summertime, but people still watch them. So cut me some slack. I’ll bet you’ve missed a few good posts in the last 15 months. Here’s a few pieces that I like, but really haven’t gotten the play I think they deserve.

New Courses HSU Should Offer

SoHum Vacation Guide

How to Party Now That the Party’s Over

And please, keep coming back for more.

 

The lygsbtd Poly-Phase Personality Profile Test

The lygsbtd Poly-Phase Personality Profile Test

Introduction

If you are like me, you’ve become frustrated by the accuracy of old-fashioned personality tests. Both the Rorschach Ink Blot Test and the Minnesota Multiphase Personality Inventory leave a lot to be desired, especially when you need to put together a specialized focus group. When I’m designing an ad campaign to exploit a particular phobia, neurosis, or compulsion, I need a focus group that shares that weakness. I don’t have the time or inclination to listen to them for hours like a therapist or psychiatrist, and I’m not interested in helping them.

Those other, currently available metrics, while perfectly adequate for the psychiatric health-care community, lack the detail necessary for public relations and advertizing work. I designed this test so I didn’t have to spend so much time around the wackos and nut-jobs that I help corporations take advantage of.

 

Of course, the complete key to scoring the test remains a proprietary secret, but by now, tens of thousands of people have taken the test, so the questions have become public knowledge. While the test reveals nearly everything about the psychological profile of the subject, but on the broadest level, all people who take this test, invariably fall into four main personality types.

 

At the end of the test, I will tell you enough about scoring the test, for you to discover your broad personality type. It surprises many people to learn their personality type, and they often find it interesting, even though that level of analysis really doesn’t help me, as a heartless manipulator of the feeble-minded, much at all. So, I’m happy to share it with you. Also, since you are scoring this test yourself, and not providing me with your answers, you can enjoy the test and learn your personality type, without turning the keys to your mind over to me.

 

To score the test, I suggest that you divide a sheet of paper into four sections, and label them A, B, C, and D. Every time you answer a question, make a hash mark in the section corresponding to the answer you choose. More about scoring after you take the test. Now get started!

The lygsbtd Poly-Phase Personality Profile Test

Phase 1 Basic Intelligence

1. How many Star Wars movies have you seen?

   A) Every film in the series once

   B) Every film in the series once, and some more than once

   C) Every film in the series once, and any Star Wars film more than 10 times

   D) The original Star Wars film once

2. If “D”, why?

   A) Lousy dialogue

   B) Shallow Characters

   C) Weak story

   D) Special effects not quite spectacular enough to overcome other weaknesses

Phase 2, Conscious Self-Image

1. What’s the matter with you?

   A) It’s hereditary

   B) It’s an autoimmune disorder

   C) I was severely traumatized as a child

   D) I blame society

2. Where do you get off?

   A) Exit 34 S

   B) In a dungeon themed hotel room

   C) At Costco

   D) Any Wifi hotspot

3. What were you thinking?

   A) It was more of a sexual fantasy than a thought

   B) I hope there’s something funny here

   C) I wonder if they ever did figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie-pop

   D) How long til lunchtime

4. Where were you on the night of Feb. 17?

   A) At home in my bedroom having sex with an inflatable pig

   B) At an all night prayer vigil for the victims of Jersey Shore

   C) Spinnin’ spliffs and tippin’ 40s wit my homies in da crib

   D) Learning to speak urban slang from an instructional CD

Phase 3, The Subliminal Self

1. If you were an invertebrate, inhabiting a Northern California tide-pool, would you be…

   A) a Giant Rock Scallop

   B) a Lurid Rock Snail

   C) a Red Rock Crab

   D) a Giant Rock Louse

2. If your life were a book, who would the author be?

   A) Dr. Seuss

   B) Tom Robbins

   C) Franz Kafka

   D) Stephen King

3. Which of these movies do you most identify with

   A) Zombieland

   B) Sid and Nancy

   C) Fight Club

   D) Eraserhead

4. If you were a bottle of shampoo, would you be…

   A) Concentrated Prell

   B) Medicated Head and Shoulders

   C) Pantene with Protein and conditioners

   D) Suave

5. If you were an over-the-counter medication, would you be…

   A) Compound W

   B) Preparation H

   C) Coricidan D

   D) Exedrin PM

6. If you were an illegal drug, would you be

   A) LSD

   B) PCP

   C) DMT

   D) MDMA

7. If you were a cartoon character, would you be…

   A) Bugs Bunny

   B) Charlie Brown

   C) Scooby Doo

   D) Hong Kong Phooey

8. If you were a criminal offense, would you be…

   A) Murder 1

   B) Grand Theft Auto

   C) Breaking and Entering

   D) Vagrancy

9. If you were a moving violation, would you be…

   A) Speeding

   B) Driving Under the Influence

   C) Failure to yield the right of way

   D) Reckless operation

10. If you were a member of The Beatles, would you be…

    A) John Lennon

    B) Paul McCartney

    C) George Harrison

    D) Ringo Starr

11. If you were a member of The Bangles, would you be…

    A) Susana Hoffs

    B) Vicki Peterson

    C) Debbie Peterson

    D) Annette Zilinskas

12. If you were a member of The Rolling Stones, would you be…

    A) Mick Jagger

    B) Kieth Richards

    C) Bill Wyman

    D) Charlie Watts

13. If you were a member of The Chipmunks, would you be…

    A) Alvin

    B) Theodore

    C) Simon

    D) Dave

14. If you were a tropical fruit, would you be…

    A) pineapple

    B) banana

    C) guava

    D) mango

15. If you were a cruciferous vegetable, would you be…

    A) broccoli

    B) Brussels sprouts

    C) Cauliflower

    D) cabbage

16. If you were a large carnivorous reptile, would you be…

    A) a salt-water crocodile

    B) a Burmese python

    C) an American Alligator

    D) a Gila monster

17. If you were a fast food chain, would you be…

    A) McDonalds

    B) Wendy’s

    C) Taco Bell

    D) Pizza Hut

18. If you were a snack food, would you be..

    A) potato chips

    B) cheese curls

    C) Oreo cookies

    D) Twinkies

19. If you were a major environmental catastrophe, would you be..

    A) Chernobyl nuclear explosion

    B) Fukushima nuclear meltdown

    C) BP Macondo well blowout

    D) Bhopal chemical plant disaster

20. If you were a twentieth-century international bloodbath, would you be…

    A) WWI

    B) WWII

    C) The Korean Conflict

    D) The Vietnam War

Phase 4, Overt Attitude Towards Others

1. Which of these statements best describes your attitude towards others

   A) Give, so that others may live

   B) Live and let live

   C) Live and let die

   D) Kill, kill, kill

2. On average, how many other people do you have to deal with on a daily basis

   A) Less than 5

   B) 5-10

   C) 11-49

   D) 50 or more

3. What is your attitude towards children

   A) They should be seen, heard and listened to

   B) They should be seen, but not heard

   C) They should be heard, but not seen

   D) They should never be seen or heard from again

Phase 5, Unconscious Attitude Towards Others

1. If other people were the ocean, would you be…

   A) Jacques Cousteau

   B) Flipper

   C) a Somali pirate

   D) The Titanic

2. If other people were dogs, would you be…

   A) a cat

   B) another dog

   C) the postman

   D) a fire hydrant

3. If other people were cats, would you be

   A) a dog

   B) another cat

   C) a mouse

   D) catnip

4. If other people were mice, would you be

   A) cheese

   B) a cat

   C) a hamster

   D) an old lady with a broom

Phase 6, Overt World-View

1. Is the world…

   A) a blessed and benevolent place

   B) a place where only the strong survive

   C) an illusion of our own making

   D) a place of wickedness

2. When was the last time you had sex outdoors

   A) today

   B) in the past month

   C) in the past year

   D) more than a year ago

Phase 7, Unconscious World View

1. Which of these films best describes your relationship to the world

   A) Saving Private Ryan

   B) Being There

   C) Alice in Wonderland

   D) Silence of the Lambs

2. In the Great Pizza Pie of Life, are you..

   A) the crust

   B) the sauce

   C) the cheese

   D) the pepperoni

3. If life is a highway, are you…

   A) in the fast lane

   B) in the slow lane

   C) in the breakdown lane

   D) dropping rocks from an overpass bridge

Phase 8, Overt Attitude Towards the Author and His Work

1. Are you with me so far?

   A) I didn’t get past the title

   B) It looks like a hella long list of questions, this one just popped out at me

   C) Yeah, is it gonna get funny soon?

   D) Yes, Master

2. How do you feel about me, as the author of this test, as the author of this blog, and as a person

   A) I want to have your baby

   B) I like you because I enjoy reading your blog

   C) I don’t like you because I’ve met you in real life

   D) I hate your guts and wish you were dead, but here I am reading your blog

3. When do you read this blog

   A) When I’m bored at work

   B) Never, I just look at the pictures

   C) 5 times a day, religiously

   D) Only when you write about me

4. Would you have sex with this blog if…

   A) It lost some weight

   B) It had bigger tits

   C) It wore sexier clothes and flirted more

   D) It brushed its teeth once in a while

5. What would you like to see more of in this blog

   A) naked dead people

   B) stuff that’s on fire

   C) people with weird diseases

   D) titties

Phase 9, Unconscious attitude towards the author and his work

1. If this blog were a 5,000 year-old stone statue of a venerated deity from a long-dead civilization, would you…

   A) smash it to bits

   B) put it in your garden

   C) sell it on Ebay

   D) worship it

2. If this blog were on fire would you be…

   A) a volunteer firefighter

   B) the arsonist

   C) a rubbernecking gawker

   D) a burn victim

3. If this blog were the assassination of JFK, would you be…

   A) the grassy knoll

   B) the Zapruder film

   C) Lee Harvey Oswald

   D) Jackie Kennedy

4. If this blog were Global Climate Change, would you be…

   A) the Ross Ice Shelf

   B) American Samoa

   C) a polar bear

   D) a California Superstorm

5. If this blog were a flying insect, would it be…

   A) a firefly

   B) a mosquito

   C) a dragonfly

   D) a June-bug

6. If this blog were a brand of cat food, would it be…

   A) Happy Cat

   B) Purina Cat Chow

   C) 9Lives Seafood Platter

   D) Fancy Feast

7. If this blog were a TV sitcom, would it be…

   A) 30 Rock

   B) The Office

   C) Gilligan’s Island

   D) I Love Lucy

8. If this blog were a tattoo, would it be…

   A) a flaming,bug-eyed skull

   B) a dragon

   C) a naked woman with big tits

   D) gullible white boy, written in Chinese characters

9. If this blog were a strain of weed, would it be…

   A) Green Crack

   B) Trainwreck/BC Kush

   C) Sexi-Mexi

   D) Nebraska Ditch Weed

10. If this blog were a serial killer, would it be

    A) John Wayne Gacy

    B) Jeffery Dahmer

    C) Hannibal Lector

    D) Charles Manson

Phase 10, Gratuitous Questions to Satisfy the Authors Prurient Interest

1. Have you ever had an interesting, unusual or particularly memorable sexual experience

   A) No

   B) Yes

   C) Maybe

   D) ask again, later

2. If “B” above, please describe, in as much detail as possible, in the comments section below.

Scoring the Test:

now that you’ve taken the test, add up how many times you answered A, B, C, and D respectively.

Type A Personality

If you answered A more often than B,C, or D, you probably didn’t take the time to read the other answers thoroughly. Type A personalities tend to be impatient, always one step ahead of themselves. If you are a Type A personality, slow down, take time to smell the coffee before you inject it directly into your veins.

Type B Personality

If you answered B more often than you answered A, C, or D, its probably because you learned in school, that if you don’t know the answer to a multiple choice test question, go with B because statistically, B is right more often than other answers. While that may be true in school, in this test, your B answers tell me that you are the kind of person who plays it safe. Type B personalities avoid undue risk. They are careful, perhaps too careful. They avoid unprotected sex with strangers, don’t share hypodermic needles, don’t talk on their cell phone while driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and never, ever wear white after Labor Day. In other words, they are as boring as rocks.

Type C Personality

If you answered C more often than you answered A, B, or D, you probably speak Spanish, and did not understand the questions. Gracias por participar. Tenga un buen día.

Type D Personality

People who answered D more often than they answered A, B, or C… If you answered D more often than you answered A,B, or C… If you answered D more often than A, B, or C, …than, um, …what was it? Oh yeah, short term memory loss. If you answered D more often that A, B, or C, its because you suffer from short term memory loss. In case you forgot, you just took the new lygsbtd Poly-Phase Personality Profile test.

Statistical Margin of Error

If you answered A, B, C, and D, an equal number of times, you did not add correctly. Roughly 10% of all subjects who take the test will incorrectly tally their score.