feminism – Like You've Got Something Better To Do

300th Post at Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do

300th post at LYGSBTD

Today I’m proud to present to you the 300th post at Like You’ve Got Something Better to Do. Can you believe it? 300 posts and still going strong. In addition to 300 occasionally humorous essays, you’ll also find over 3,000 pictures, silly pictures, sexy pictures, stolen pictures. Every week, in addition to the many hours that it takes me to compose these essays, I spend at least 4hours poring over pictures to illustrate each post.

From time to time, in my quest for the perfect picture for a given paragraph, I come across a picture that that doesn’t quite suit the post, but is just too good to pass up. At the end of each year, I burn all of the pictures I have collected for the blog onto a couple of cds, and then never look at them again. So, for today’s 300th post, I thought I’d share some of those pictures I liked well enough to save, but weren’t quite relevant enough to fit into another post. Let’s get to it:

This sign only makes me want to get inside more. I hope it does the same for you.

I don’t know what these women are protesting, but I support them 100%, which leads to…

Women with eyes on their breasts. This would make talking to women so much easier.

Or maybe, if women’s eyes were bigger than their breasts, even if they only had one, it would be easier to look them in the eye. These women are obviously Residents fans. If you’ve never heard of the Residents, you should check them out.

While you’re watching the Residents, you might wish you had some LSD. I know I do.

but be careful with that stuff…

and while you are soaring through outer space, you might appreciate a companion…

clearly alcohol was involved, but what a great Halloween costume. Speaking of costumes…

na na na na na na na na na… Cockman! Who could have imagined that a bat would be more popular..

Ok, I guess bats are pretty damn cute, but you know what is even cuter than baby bats…

The world’s smallest cat. Not a kitten, this cat is a year-and-a-half old in this photo. You know who is not going to make it to one-and-a-half years old…

This baby. To explain this photo, I offer the following graph…

That explains a lot, doesn’t it. but not this…

Manned space flight is always a bad idea, because of all the global warming gasses that it generates, but trying it indoors was an especially bad idea. They should have read the sign…

another sign of the times…

because in this modern era, everything is falling apart which makes us nostalgic for the old days, when products were made with quality, style and durability in mind. like these…

Genuine mink… and only $1, what a bargain. What a great way to show off your great taste. Of course, you’ll need a suit…

Yes, Dorcus made great suits for men. I can’t imagine why they are not still in business, with innovative products like this.

Wow… What a Dorcus! For more Dorcus fashions, I recommend: http://www.lileks.com/institute/dorcus/index.html

Speaking of fashion…

Imagine this woman’s surprise. you might expect to be bitten by a crab, on the toe, while walking barefoot on the beach, but when they attack from above, in urban environments, we’re all in big trouble. Speaking of trouble…

It’s revenge time, and we’ll never know what hit us because…

It’s a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! or you’ll end up like this…

This chandelier is made entirely from human bones. It’s part of the bone cathedral in the Czech Republic. Here’s a video:

I think it’s beautiful, and find it inspiring. Sometimes I think I’d like to make something nice like this out of my community. But The Chech Republic doesn’t have a monopoly on morbid…

We’re Number One! We’re Number One! We’re Number One! And speaking of religion…

Because without Christians, we’d never have…

Yes, we have issues with food in this country. Only in the USA would you see this…

I think this photo sums up American culture perfectly. I don’t know what the hell is going on, and I don’t want to. Speaking of inscrutable…

But who could pass up the free chlamydia test kit. So here’s your opportunity to participate…

I think that’s the most graphic restroom graphic I’ve ever seen. I’m guessing the artist has never watched a woman pee outside before. Finally, as an artist, I leave you with a quote, that explains this post.

Three Letters that Spell Success

Three Letters that Spell Success

I’ve noticed that two recently opened, and similarly themed, boutiques in Arcata and Garberville, have adopted cryptic, three-letter names. DTA, in Arcata and SHC in Garberville, both sport black walls, graffiti art, and prominently displayed sound equipment. Both shops look more like nightclubs than clothing stores, but they have no cover charge, and serve no drinks.

Can these places really pay the rent, from a few bins of silk screened T-Shirts, a couple racks of hoodies and a display case full of CDs by local artists? Maybe these shops exist simply to launder drug money, in which case, a lot of inventory might just get in the way. But maybe they noticed that guys who walk right past clothing stores, will walk into any shop that has a pile of sound equipment in the window, and will, if possible, buy their clothes there, even if they only sell one T-Shirt.

As a guy who’s lived most of his life in music store T-shirts, I guess they’ve got me pegged. I’ve been in both shops, and I almost never go into clothing stores, which you can easily tell by looking at me. Still, these places baffle me. I like big pubic-address speakers as much as the next guy, but I never really got on the “hoodie” bandwagon.

I’ve never worn a hoodie. A baja, sure, hooded shirt, yeah, but I just can’t picture myself looking good in a hoodie. I got nothing against hoodies. A lot of people seem to feel comfortable in them, and look really natural in them. I just think I look slouchy and disheveled enough, at my best, and I don’t really see myself as “thug” material.

Speaking of material, cotton knit hoodies, don’t keep you warm when they get wet. Cotton gets soggy and heavy, and at least one person around here has died of hypothermia, in 50 degree weather, wearing a really cool-looking, but wet, hoodie. Here in the woods of SoHum, whenever it’s cold enough to need clothes, its also raining, so I live in fleece. The squirrels and blue jays wouldn’t make fun of me any less, if I looked like I had more “street-cred”.

Despite what the squirrels say, cryptic three-letter monikers are clearly very edgy and hip right now. Two, three-letter clothing boutiques in Humboldt County, looks like a trend to me, so deal me in. My new boutique will have even bigger speakers, and fewer clothes than either DTA or SHC, and it will have actual cutting edges built into the architecture, so unless you’re very careful, you’ll need stitches before you leave.

I’ve also decided to launch my own line of urban street-wear, featuring my own bold, cutting edge, three-letter designs to go with my new boutique. (cue heavy hip-hop beat) Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom.

Introducing:

Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom.

Here at LSD we grind up culture and spit out style, that aggressive, sub-literate, mean-spirited style that’s so popular with young people these days. We created these unbelievably crass and wildly inappropriate designs to suit today’s unbelievably crass consumers and their wildly inappropriate lifestyles. Here’s a sample:

Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom.

Here at LSD, we’re cool with feminism, and we’re hip to equality, but we know that sexiness is power, and we want to help women harness theirs, with our bold new designs. We know that all women are sexy, and no matter how stupid you feel wearing these designs, they’ll still look great on you, because you always look great, no matter how stupid your clothes look. So, check out these hot new designs for women in tight, titty-huggging tanks, and scoop neck tees that bounce your way.

Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom, Boom Boom chicka chicka Boom Boom.

You don’t have to wait for an LSD Industries boutique to open up in your town, you can get these hot, trendy new designs right now at http://www.zazzle.com/lygsbtd* Sure they’re expensive, but I’m worth it. Get your own LSD today!!

A Feminist Critique of This Blog, and T-Shirt Offer

A Feminist Critique, and T-Shirt Offer

Well if you won’t, I will. As a sensitive new-age guy, who genuinely loves women, I’m offended by the excessive amount of T+A, and objectified images of women’s bodies in this blog, especially women’s bodies of a particular body type. I mean, I like looking at these images, but feel they degrade and dehumanize women, and are probably not helping me gain female readers.

As the author of this blog, I don’t give a fuck what I think as a “sensitive new-age guy”, I want my blog to be funny, provocative and hard to take your eye off. I want people to love my blog. If some people want to have sex with it, that’s a good start, but I understand that not everyone gets a pleasant rush of hormone every time they see a flash of female flesh.

HotFiremen — I sure wouldm't read a blog if it was full of images like this.

I worry about my female readers who might actually enjoy my writing more, were it not so liberally sprinkled with exploitative, sexualized, images of women. I get it. Women are not sex objects. Women are people, interesting people, people with a sense of humor. But strangely, people who don’t necessarily feel physical pleasure as a result of seeing cleavage.

Women who read this blog might not appreciate being bombarded with this kind of imagery, especially since it is so prevalent every where else in our culture, and especially don’t like being judged according to their approximation to these totally unrealistic, and manufactured, images of hyper-sexualized beauty.

I hear you there! I hate seeing guys who are better looking than me, in pictures or in person. That’s why I live deep in the woods, don’t have a TV and my social life revolves around the Ham radio club.

SoHum Amateur Radio Club, I'm second from right

If I were constantly bombarded by images of good looking guys, showing off how good looking they were, in hopes of selling stuff to my girlfriend, it would really piss me off. But, it would also start to look pretty stupid and ridiculous after a while. Stupid and ridiculous is my stock in trade. So, lets look at why I used some of these images.

I found this image labeled “female college student with beer”. This woman is at least 30. Are we to believe that she took a break from writing her doctoral thesis to pose in her bikini. 30 is a great age to be, and she looks healthy. She obviously takes care of herself and leads an active lifestyle. But look at the desperation in her eyes. Here you see playful youth giving way to nervous middle-age. I thought the desperation in her eyes conveyed my desperation to buy your vote with beer.

This, artists rendition of a flag-draped woman, hot for some Labor Day lovin’ in shimmering red, white and blue expresses patriotism and respect for American workers… eroticized. Despite child labor laws, I never thought of Labor Day as an “adult themed” holiday, maybe I’m missing something, but I thought it was funny.

Occasionally, I find the image of a woman wearing the message I’m trying to convey in my prose. I use these images to add emphasis, and make that particular message stand out in your memory. I call these images “message boobs”. I’ve noticed that in my life, the words that I remember the longest, and that made the biggest difference to me, were those printed on women’s T-shirts. I only know what feminism means because I saw the word, its pronunciation and definition on a woman’s T-shirt years ago, and the only reason I ever listened to Bob Marley, was because a pair of boobs told me to.

Women’s boobs are powerful. If I could do it, this whole blog would appear stretched across a pair of boobs, just because I want people to remember what they read here. Then I had this idea.

lygsbtd tshirt — http://www.cafepress.com/lygsbtd

I would love to see women everywhere wearing this T-shirt, in support of this blog, and as your way of saying that you don’t think I’m a sexist pig, but rather a pig with a healthy love and appreciation for women. I can think of no better way to spread the word about this blog everywhere you go, and the idea of my logo stretched across your boobs really turns me on. So please, order yours today!

Look, the only real reason I became a feminist in the first place, was to score with women. So, women who read this blog, how does this blog score with you? I appreciate any and all comments.