How to Score With Women
People who know me, know that I spend most of my time in the company of a particularly beautiful woman. This leads many to wonder: “What does this lovely creature see in that fat, bald, middle-aged man with a four-figure income?” While I can’t exactly answer that question, I can tell you why millions of decent looking guys, who earn much more money than me, haven’t been laid in a dogs age. They lack relationship skills.
Of course every guy wants a gorgeous girlfriend, just like every guy wants to drive a Ferrari, and for all the same reasons, sleek lines, an exciting ride, and to make other guys envious. While every man wants to drive a Ferrari, not many know how to fix them, and fewer still enjoy fixing them as much as driving them. That’s the mark of a true sports car enthusiast.
Guys who enjoy fixing cars as much as driving them, also know how to listen to a car, and can usually detect small problems, before they turn into a major failure that leaves them stranded by the side of the road. If your Ferrari unexpectedly breaks down, and you have enough money, you might find a mechanic with the tools and skills to fix it for you. However, no matter how much money you have, if your relationship breaks down, and you leave your girlfriend with someone who has the proper skills and tools, you will never see her again.
So, if you want a relationship with a woman, any woman, you need to develop the skills and acquire the tools to maintain that relationship. These skills only come with experience, but they start with listening.
Listening to a woman is very different from talking to a man. When men talk, which is not often, the goal is to address and solve the problem at hand in as few words as possible. That way, they can end the conversation, and get back to fantasizing about women as quickly as possible. This approach never works with women, so don’t go there.
Instead, think of it this way: Talking to a woman is the only socially acceptable way to stare at a woman. I like staring at women. I’d do it all day but for the scornful looks it elicits. However, if I ask an occasional question, nod, and go “uh-huh” every once in a while, I can stare all I like. Try it.
Keep just enough of your brain in it to keep the conversation going, but listen to her, the way a mechanic listens to a Ferrari. Every word she says is like a cylinder firing. You want to hear them firing one right after another in a nice smooth unbroken rhythm. That’s the sound of a working relationship.
OK, there you have one very important relationship skill. That is, how to listen, and to know when things are running smoothly. Now I’ll offer you a tool that can fix things, when they start to go wrong.
Silly as it seems, I’ve used this tool on a broad range of problems, in a broad range of situations, with a broad range of broads, with great success! This is very powerful medicine that I share with you today, and although its over 30 years old, it remains as potent as ever.
The theme song to “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”. Learn to sing this song! You don’t have to sing it well, but you need to know all of the words, and you have to sing it with feeling.
The Mary Tyler Moore show still enjoys enormous popularity with women across the social spectrum, due in no small part to the strength of that theme song. Perhaps no other passage in the history of the English language has ever been so carefully constructed, specifically to make women feel valued, uplifted, empowered and loved. Study these words and learn them by heart. Believe me, they are Hollywood’s gift to men, and they are worth their weight in gold.
If you find yourself staring at an upset woman, first, make sure she’s not hungry. Always try food first, but if that doesn’t work, break out the MTM theme song, and it will solve 90% of your relationship problems.
If you only learn these two things, you will have more relationship skills than 80% of American men. Considering that gay men constitute half of the remaining 20%, your chances of finding a girlfriend just went up by about 90%.