Well Tomorrow is Election Day. Win or lose, this will be the last time I write about Measure Z. Believe me, I’m as sick of it as you are. I cannot think of a single topic more boring than tax policy, or an activity more pointless than voting, but this blog remains the highest ranked Vote No on Measure Z page on the internet, so I have a job to do.
We’ve dropped a few places since I first reported this phenomena, but lygsbtd remains the only Vote No On Measure Z web site to show up on the first page of search results. However, if you do a google image search, you’ll discover that my Vote No on Measure Z memes dominate the image search results, with seven of the top ten images sourcing from this blog. In the image war, I am kicking their ass!
Unfortunately, this battle won’t be decided by a google image search. This battle will be won at the ballot box, so here I go again, trying to find an entertaining way to motivate you to go to the polls and VOTE NO ON MEASURE Z.
I don’t like telling you to vote. Usually I tell people that voting is for suckers, because voting is for suckers. It takes a special kind of stupidity to believe in democracy. Think about it. How many years did you stay up all night on Christmas Eve, before you realized that Santa Claus was a fraud? Now ask yourself: How long has it been since you’ve seen democracy actually solve a problem or prevent an expensive, pointless war? We have a word for that kind of stupidity. We call that kind of stupidity: “religion.”
Democracy is just the latest fraud religion. Like all fraud religions, it was concocted as a means of extracting money from your pocket, and putting it in someone else’. That’s exactly what Measure Z is all about. Humboldt’s greediest bloodsuckers are counting on Humboldt’s dumbest morons to help them pry more money out of your pocket.
They know that ALL of the greedy bloodsuckers in Humboldt County will vote for their regressive tax measure, because greedy bloodsuckers love to take advantage of people. Even the Libertarians around here (I’m looking at you Fred) can’t say NO to screwing poor people. So, they’ve got the bloodsucker vote wrapped up.
The big problem will be liberals and progressives. Liberals and progressives are the snake handlers and castration cults of the fraud religion known as democracy. They are the dumbest of the dumb. At least the bloodsuckers know that democracy is a game, and they play to win. Liberals and progressives think that democracy has magical powers to solve intractable social and environmental problems, something it has never, ever, done.
Liberals and progressives worship democracy and believe it has supernatural powers. They believe that if the government has more money, its magical powers to solve problems grow stronger. That’s why liberals and progressives like paying taxes. They like to think about all the cool things that government would do if it had more power. Like:
Solve global climate change with electric cars and solar powered bullet trains.
Find a cure for cancer, Ebola, muscular dystrophy and Parkinson’s disease.
End poverty and homelessness.
I’ve got news for you. Government is never going to do any of that stuff. In reality, democracy empowers bloodsuckers to rape the Earth, pollute the environment and take advantage of people, and democracy prevents the rest of us from interfering with it. That’s what democracy does now, and that’s what democracy has always done, but liberals and progressives look back at democracy’s almost 250 year history in the US, and they say, “It still looks good on paper. It really should work this time.”
No, it won’t work, not this time, not next time, not ever. Democracy will never work. Jesus is not coming back, and Santa Claus does not exist. I’m sorry to disappoint you, if I’m the one to break it to you, but professional wrestling is phony too. These are just the facts of life.
Still, these three great frauds, democracy, Christianity and consumerism continue to define our culture, and sometimes it’s just easier to just say “Merry Christmas” than to yell, “Santa is dead!” When someone says “bless you” after you sneeze, it’s not always helpful to say “Fuck you! Your religion is a fraud and you are an idiot!” By the same token, you can hold your nose, go to your polling place, and cast your ballot to stop this whole evil system from stealing even more of your life, even though you know the system is a complete fraud.
Go ahead. Get it over with. Vote NO on Measure Z.
A Different 1%
NPR recently reported on a scientific paper that predicted 1% of girls who live in the area effected by the Fukushima nuclear disaster, and were one year old at the time of the meltdown, would get cancer from the radiation exposure resulting from the incident. The report concluded that cancers resulting from the Fukushima nuclear disaster would not raise Japan’s cancer rate very much at all, since about half, or 50% of all Japanese people get cancer at some point in their lives already.
My brain almost exploded when I heard that report. First, I can scarcely imagine what kind of statistical gymnastics it took for them to jump to that conclusion, especially considering that the disaster continues unabated. I mean, the reactors continue to melt, producing heat, steam and huge quantities of deadly radioactive material, that is by no means contained. This material continues to contaminate soil and groundwater in the area, and few believe that anyone can prevent the heavily contaminated groundwater from flowing into the Pacific Ocean. Clearly, the best is yet to come.
Second: Half of all Japanese people can expect to get cancer in their lifetime! That shocked me. Cancer was relatively rare before the Industrial Revolution, which is why they call cancer a “disease of civilization”. Doctors identified the first causes of cancers in the 18th Century, which appeared as rare tumors on the scrota of chimney-sweeps with poor hygiene. 300 years of carcinogenic industrial pollutants later, so many people get cancer that even an ongoing nuclear catastrophe will hardly make a dent in the national cancer rate.
Isn’t that reassuring. Really, why worry about Fukushima? Your dryer sheets will kill you before it does. Your nail polish, oven cleaner, deodorant, air freshener, the smell of your new car, carpet, paint, and furniture will help. Vehicle emissions, industrial incinerators, coal fired power plants, chemical plants and plastics factories provide free carcinogens for people who can’t afford to buy products that contain them. The body burden of pesticides, flame retardants, rocket propellants and a couple hundred other chemicals we inherited from our parents, gave them all a head start. How could one nuclear disaster hope to compete with a full-court press like that.
Finally, even assuming this dubious estimate turns out to be accurate, what kind of metric is the estimated number of additional cancers in one year old girls from Fukushima, for measuring the magnitude of the Fukushima disaster? What about two year old girls? What about five year old girls? What about boys? What about adults? What about kids who haven’t been born yet?
How many of those one year old girls will suffer miscarriages, or have children with birth defects because of radiation from Fukushima? What about 15 year old girls, or 25 year old women? How many miscarriages and birth defects have already resulted from the Fukushima nuclear disaster. How many of those babies will develop cancer later in life?
How does 1% sound for a wild ass guess for any and all of the above questions. I’ll bet that’s as accurate of a guess as the study I heard quoted. Does that sound like an acceptable cost? 1% sounds like almost nothing, doesn’t it? That’s probably why they chose that number for their prediction. One bullet, one hundred people, Russian Roulette anyone? This still doesn’t get to the heart of the issue, because Fukushima is the gift that keeps on giving.
What happens the next time an earthquake triggers a tsunami in the area, and it stirs up all of the radioactive mud just off the coast of the plant, that will probably never be cleaned up, and dumps it all over the countryside? It’s bound to happen, in 50, 100, or 500 yrs or so, and all of that plutonium will be just as fresh and deadly as it is today. What happens in 10,000 yrs when no one there speaks Japanese anymore, or has any idea why this lovely oceanfront real-estate has remained undeveloped? What happens in 10,000,000 yrs, when bipedal felines plant the whole area in catnip? I’ll hazard a guess that 1% of bipedal felines exposed to contaminated catnip develop feline leukemia, using the same math as the researchers quoted on NPR.
…And for what? A few fleeting megawatts of electricity, mostly wasted on garish signage, excessive lighting, electronic toilets and Japanese game shows. Unlike the electricity generated at the Fukushima nuclear power station, the Fukushima nuclear disaster will not go away. The deadly impacts of Fukushima will even outlast the fortunes of Tepco’s shareholders, who profited from the massive public investment in, inherently dangerous, uncompetitively expensive, nuclear power.
The lasting radioactive legacy of the Fukushima nuclear disaster will remain a threat, and an impediment to life on Earth until the sun goes super-nova and burns the Earth to a cinder. Radioactivity from Fukushima, and the contaminated area around it, like Chernobyl, not to mention every other nuclear power plant, laboratory, or weapons facility ever built, will continue to take lives, cause sickness and make life harder on Planet Earth until the end of time.
Life on Planet Earth is hard enough, thank you very much, and we really don’t need the additional burden.
Where’s Godzilla When You Really Need Him?
The Professor suggested that I write something about the recent revelations from Tepco about the Fukushima Nuclear Disaster. What humor could I possibly find in the worst industrial catastrophe in the history of mankind? How about:
What’s the difference between Tepco and Bradley Manning?
Bradley Manning saved innocent civilians by leaking secret information to the press, while Tepco killed innocent civilians by keeping information about the leak secret from the press.
Or how about…
What do Tepco and Jorma Kaukonen have in common?
They both produced Hot Tuna.
How many Tepco employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, a janitor to hold the bulb up to the socket, and the CEO to screw the whole world around it.
There’s a start, I guess.
When faced with an overwhelming situation like Fukushima, it can help to look on the bright side. For instance…
A glowing ocean means people can now surf at night.
Now you can use your Geiger counter to locate nearby sushi restaurants.
Fish enthusiasts will find new mutant species for their marine aquariums
Pacific seafood now comes out of the water pre-cooked
See, even though the Fukushima nuclear meltdown has become an unmitigated disaster of epic proportions, it’s not all bad news. In fact, the Fuk Nuke Puke will create tremendous economic opportunities for people who know how to take advantage of them. For example, there’s never been a better time to become a pediatric oncologist. The pay is great, and you’ll be up to your eyeballs in bald six-year-olds in no time.
You know what they say, “When GE sells you a lemon of a nuclear reactor, make the ocean into radioactive lemonade.”
Marijuana is a beautiful plant, but marijuana prohibition is an ugly thing. Sadistic, racist cops all over the country use marijuana prohibition to target minorities, especially minority youth.
Violent drug gangs use marijuana prohibition to finance their weapons purchases.
Bloodthirsty corporations use marijuana prohibition to sell dangerous, addictive and synthetic substitutes,
and many otherwise law abiding citizens have been lured into using it to supplement their income, despite the risks involved
By now, marijuana prohibition has gone on so long that it has become an institutionalized evil. Lots of people have gotten used to making a good deal of money from this one very bad law. At the same time, millions of people go to jail, lose their jobs, suffer needlessly, and pay exorbitant prices for a harmless, hardy weed that, despite over 10,000 years of human consumption, has never killed anyone.
Thanks to marijuana prohibition, however, lots of people lose their lives in the marijuana black market. In this small rural community alone, at least three people have been murdered, and a couple more have gone missing in marijuana prohibition related circumstances in the last few months. They were by no means the first prohibition related murders in Southern Humboldt, nor will they be the last.
Like the frequent law-enforcement caravans that snake through the hills, and the violent raids they inevitably lead to, murders and disappearances have become a fact of life around here. People have gotten used to these events, and hardly bat an eyelash when they occur, but without prohibition, we wouldn’t have the cops, and without the cops, we wouldn’t have the money, and without the money, we wouldn’t have the murders. Prohibition creates this vicious cycle of oppression, crime, and violence that destroys families, ends lives, and creates tremendous hardship and suffering for millions of people.
Prohibition costs a lot of money too. Taxpayers pay for all of those cops, courts, jails, and probation officers that process the 750,000 or so marijuana arrests annually in the US. They also pay for a lot of misleading anti-marijuana propaganda, eradication campaigns, and surveillance. Outdoor grows displace and destroy natural habitat, divert water and pollute the environment. The conversion of residential housing into indoor commercial marijuana farms makes housing more expensive, and the lights, fans and pumps used in clandestine marijuana grows contribute to global climate change, the costs of which continue to mount.
Most of these costs are born by the general public, not by the producers of marijuana. When an industry raids the public commons for profit, pollutes the environment, injures or kills employees without compensating them for their losses, we say they have “externalized” those costs. That means that they’ve managed to keep the real costs of producing their product off of their books, and foisted them onto someone else, who does not share in the profits from the business. Because of the externalized costs involved in marijuana prohibition, most of us, whether we consume marijuana or not, suffer real losses ranging from loss of freedom and income to the loss of home, career or loved ones, while a few people reap tremendous profits which mostly go unreported, undeclared and untaxed.
Yes, marijuana prohibition is a tremendously unfair, but effective method for redistributing the wealth of working, taxpaying citizens to people who don’t play by the rules and don’t care who they hurt. In this way, marijuana prohibition brings out the worst in people, and attracts the worst kinds of people.
Unfortunately, marijuana prohibition attracts these unsavory elements to our charming little rural community. We ignore it, because with this unsavory behavior and these unsavory characters, comes money. It seems that just a little sprinkle of money can make the unsavory, quite palatable, but still, we should not forget where all of that money comes from.
A lot of marijuana money comes from our nation’s youth. High school and college students buy a lot of marijuana. Most of them don’t own homes, so they have no place to grow their own. Besides spending a lot of money on marijuana, young people disproportionately become victims of prohibition related violence, including that metered out by law enforcement and the so called criminal justice system. Of all the things available, and attractive to young people these days, marijuana is one of the safest. It should also be one of the cheapest and most freely available. Prohibition has turned it into an expensive luxury and made it a commodity worth fighting over.
Marijuana smokers endure a lot of workplace discrimination. Arrest records, drug testing and honesty can severely limit a marijuana smokers employment opportunities. As a result, marijuana users tend to work at lower paying jobs. High marijuana prices severely impact their lives, but they prioritize marijuana because, as Freeweelin’ Franklin used to say, “Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.”
Cancer patients and others who need medical marijuana to treat pain, nausea, seizures, or other conditions, form a rapidly growing segment of marijuana users. Marijuana is an effective medicine, and many argue that it makes a good preventative tonic as well. Marijuana prohibition makes healthy people sick, keeps sick people from medicine that can help them, and people die as a result.
Without a doubt, marijuana money comes disproportionately from the poor, the young, and the sick, the people who can afford it least, and many of them do without other necessities in order to afford the high prices demanded by black-market dealers.
Without marijuana prohibition, Southern Humboldt would be just another poor rural community struggling to cope with economic hardship, but just imagine how much better life would be. Murders would still shock us. The people who work for a living around here could afford to live here. We’d all still have plenty of pot, but so would everyone else in the country, and no one would drive up from the city to try to kill us for it.
Most pot consumers could afford to take a three-day weekend every week because the only reason most of them work on Friday now, is so they can afford the pot they smoke all week. Anyone who wanted to, could grow all of the marijuana they wanted in their garden, and cops wouldn’t bother anyone about it. Anyone who had to deal with serious illness or chronic pain would have access to all of the natural medicine they needed, whether they could afford insurance or not.
In a post-prohibition world, we’d work a four-day work-week, and all of us would have plenty of marijuana. When you got the munchies, you could order a pizza, and have it delivered by a laid-off cop, and when you needed a pick-me-up you could order a cappuccino, and a former drug-dealer would make it for you. Doesn’t that sound like the kind of world you want to live in?
Humboldt Rallies to End Nuclear Power in the U.S. Now
I haven’t spoken about this here yet, because its not funny, but the Fukushima nuclear facility continues to spew radiation into the environment in huge quantities, and will keep spewing highly radioactive material into the air and water for some time to come. People will die as a result.
Perhaps millions, but certainly hundreds of thousands of people will die, mostly after long, expensive battles with cancer. Tens of thousands more will be born with Down’s Syndrome, or other crippling birth defects that will prevent them from living anything like normal lives. Some of these people will be U.S. citizens. Some may live in Humboldt Co.
None of these people will be compensated in any way for their suffering. They will pay with their lives, the true price for nuclear electricity, as will millions more in the future. The Fukushima disaster is a catastrophe unparalleled in the history of humanity, now surpassing Chernobyl. But we have dozens of Fukushimas in the making, right here in the U.S.
The NRC, our national regulatory board, which acts more like cheerleaders than watchdogs of the nuclear industry, recently re-licensed the aging, leaking, Fukushima style reactor in Vernon, Vermont, over the objection of the Vermont State legislature and the Governor. The Federal government, through the NRC, has given the private for-profit corporation, Entergy, permission to operate this plant far beyond its designed lifespan, despite its numerous design flaws, inadequate containment structure, vulnerable spent fuel pool, and numerous unexplained and continuing leaks of radioactive waste into the surrounding environment. “To hell with the people of Vermont” say the NRC, “Run it into the ground”.
They say the same thing to us, “To hell with the people of California”, when we tell them that San Onofre and Diablo Canyon nuclear power plants must be shut down. “Run them into the ground” they say. They know, they’ll never have to compensate anyone for the disease they cause. They know that the people they harm will just slowly sink around them, suffering quietly until they die, racking up crushing medical expenses, for completely preventable conditions, that often prove fatal.
It’s time to say “To hell with the NRC” We cannot trust them. They have failed us. Its time to demand an immediate shutdown of all nuclear power plants in the U.S. Nuclear power has never been competitive in the market, it has never been clean, and it will never be safe. Its time to dismantle and decommission these relics of the cold war before we face a Fukushima scale disaster here in the U.S.
This Friday and Saturday, Sept 30 and Oct 1, will mark a day of rallies across the U.S. to demand an end to the deadly legacy of nuclear power. Here in Humboldt, rally in:
Garberville, at the Garberville town square on Friday Sept.30 at 11:00am
Eureka, at the Humboldt County Courthouse on Saturday Oct 1 at 11:00am
Arcata, at the Arcata Square on Saturday Oct 1 at 11:00am
for more info about this campaign in Humboldt Co.:
Please make time to participate in these events. Bring a sign, come in costume, or come as you are BUT PLEASE COME!!!! Thank you!
See you there!!!
Why Do You Think They Call It In-Vestment?
As we move into Spring, once again our attention returns to breasts. While breasts drives economic activity throughout the year, by about Memorial Day each Spring, we get to see how our favorite breasts have been effected by the cold weather. We also eagerly examine the robust growth of fresh new breasts that have just matured over the winter. So, as we take stock of our breast resources, I think it behooves us to consider breast futures carefully.
Whether you inherited them from family, or acquired them in a merger, you’ll find few investments more satisfying. I think everyone should be involved with breasts in one way or another because breasts offer endless opportunities for both long and short term gain. If you inherited breasts, hold on to them. If you can find a pair you like, stick with them. These long term investments pay great dividends.
In the short term, a few savvy investors have built multimillion dollar empires around a single pair of breasts. Such powerful breasts rarely occur naturally and routinely require tens of thousands of dollars to produce and promote. The payout on this investment can vary widely, with a substantial downside risk, but quick turnaround means that those breasts will reap most of their profits in the first ten years on the market.
While “flipping” breasts, that is, speculating on breasts by holding them a short while then dumping them when the opportunity to upgrade arises, can be profitable in “bubble” years (15-25), this strategy proves very expensive over the long term.
While breasts come in an astounding variety of shapes, sizes and colors, they all serve the same function, and they all make good investments. While large breasts tend to attract the most attention, possibly because you can see them from farther away, they have drawbacks, which time tends to magnify. Over the long term, large breasts display substantial Nipple Altitude Drop (NAD) over decades. In very large breasts, NAD factors of over a foot are not uncommon. In smaller breasts NAD is barely perceptible. The accessibility of small breasts, which do not require bulky, restrictive harnesses, also make them an attractive investment, so don’t overlook them.
Global Threats to Breasts.
Since most, if not all Americans hold substantial interest in breasts, it seems that we would as a nation, seek to protect this investment and valuable natural resource. Apparently not however, as our nation continues to ignore a real, looming and growing threat to breasts around the world. I’m talking about breast cancer. So, what causes breast cancer, and why do far more women get it now than in the past?
In the late ’80s, scientists working on that very question made a remarkable discovery. In their experiments, they had healthy tissue cultures growing in petri dishes. They would then expose these cultures to various substances to see if they caused the culture to get cancer. After quite a few tests, they noticed that every substance they tested seemed to cause cancer. Even their control group developed cancer at a significantly elevated rate. This made them suspicious.
So, they tried growing some cultures in old fashioned glass petri dishes and some in the new, ubiquitously used, plastic petri dishes. They discovered that plastic petri dishes caused cancer. This led to the discovery that even very stable plastics, like polycarbonate and especially PVC, leach persistent toxic chemicals into their surroundings, and that these chemicals cause cancer and birth defects at extremely low doses. These fat soluble toxins concentrate in breast tissue where they have been closely linked to breast cancer.
Meanwhile, the majority of cancer research focuses on finding a cure for cancer. The cure often starts with breast removal. If the producers of industrial plastics had to compensate breast-holders for investment losses due to cancer, you can bet we’d see a change in the way giant chemical companies do business. Instead, these same companies form medical divisions which make medical devices and treatments (and petri dishes) out of the same toxic, carcinogenic materials.
Under the current legal framework, breast-holders are lucky to escape breast cancer with their lives. On the other hand, corporations like Dow and Dupont reap windfall profits by selling carcinogenic medical equipment to people with cancer, while they suck up government grants and charitable donations to research new “cures”. Meanwhile they continue to fill the world with cheap, carcinogenic, plastic crap.
When you look at it that way, you might think it wise to dump your breasts, and buy shares of Dupont. Before you do that, think about how those stock certificates will look, bouncing up and down in a sports bra on a sunny spring day. That’s why the smart money holds on to those breasts firmly.
There’s some investment advice that’s On The Money.