Where’s Godzilla When You Really Need Him?
The Professor suggested that I write something about the recent revelations from Tepco about the Fukushima Nuclear Disaster. What humor could I possibly find in the worst industrial catastrophe in the history of mankind? How about:
What’s the difference between Tepco and Bradley Manning?
Bradley Manning saved innocent civilians by leaking secret information to the press, while Tepco killed innocent civilians by keeping information about the leak secret from the press.
Or how about…
What do Tepco and Jorma Kaukonen have in common?
They both produced Hot Tuna.
How many Tepco employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, a janitor to hold the bulb up to the socket, and the CEO to screw the whole world around it.
There’s a start, I guess.
When faced with an overwhelming situation like Fukushima, it can help to look on the bright side. For instance…
A glowing ocean means people can now surf at night.
Now you can use your Geiger counter to locate nearby sushi restaurants.
Fish enthusiasts will find new mutant species for their marine aquariums
Pacific seafood now comes out of the water pre-cooked
See, even though the Fukushima nuclear meltdown has become an unmitigated disaster of epic proportions, it’s not all bad news. In fact, the Fuk Nuke Puke will create tremendous economic opportunities for people who know how to take advantage of them. For example, there’s never been a better time to become a pediatric oncologist. The pay is great, and you’ll be up to your eyeballs in bald six-year-olds in no time.
You know what they say, “When GE sells you a lemon of a nuclear reactor, make the ocean into radioactive lemonade.”