Building Your Vocabulary One Word at a Time
xan thoch roi (zan ‘thock reh why …or… zan ‘thock roy)n, white person having fair skin and light hair.
This word comes to us from the Greeks, who, I guess, found such people so rarely that they didn’t mind wasting the syllables on them. They combined their word for yellow, “xanthos”, with their word for pale, “ochros” to give us a three or four syllable word for blonde.
If you think this piece is now going to turn into a dumb blonde joke, you couldn’t be more wrong. If you think blondes are dumb, ask yourself why the Scandinavian countries routinely whip our kids asses in educational achievement, have health-care systems that work, and in general report a better quality of life than people here in the US, even though they live in a dark frozen wasteland?
The real reason we call blondes, “dumb” is the simple rhythm of it. It’s like bass and snare… boom-chick. Dumb brunette, dumb redhead, these variations on the triplet beat are just don’t have the same hook. So, this monosyllabic moniker, “Blonde” has victimized xanthochroid people everywhere for decades. They’ve suffered enough.
Maybe we need this big word for blonde, to help make up for all of the unfair “dumb blonde” jokes they’ve had to endure. Personally, I like the four syllable pronunciation best. It exercises parts of your mouth that don’t used much, so it feels a little weird, but its fun to say. I can think of another good four-syllable word to pair with it, “intelligent”.
“Intelligent xanthochroi” sounds smart, doesn’t it? Though not exactly an economical expression, linguistically speaking, it has a certain music about it. Try it out. Say it a few times out loud. “Intelligent xanthochroi”, “intelligent xanthochroi”, “intelligent xanthochroi”. Wasn’t that fun? Did it elicit any stares? …smiles? Say it again, louder this time. Intelligent xanthochroi! That’s enough.
Don’t get too carried away. White people in general can be kind of full of themselves in this way. I’m not saying that pale skinned, light haired people are smarter than anyone else. I’m just saying that xanthochroid people are no stupider than other people.
So, to you, the intelligent xanthochroid people of the world, by virtue of the fact that you are no dumber than the rest of us, I dedicate unto you, this ridiculous piece.