Some Friendly Advice for Garberville Merchants
I know things are tough for the merchants in downtown Garberville. At least three stores have closed in the past year, and no one seems eager to move in. With rent in G,ville being what it is, who can blame them?
A number of local merchants are up in arms about the quality of the foot traffic they receive. It seems they really don’t like the people on the street with backpacks, grubby clothes and dogs, and they really resent that any of them would have the nerve to ask for money. They don’t like the hippie buses, and they don’t want their parks full of tatted up kids in ratty clothes.
Maybe they don’t realize that they are in the heart of the marijuana industry. Who do they think buys all of the pot grown around here? Who do they think wants to see a fucking redwood tree? Every scuzzy hippie in the world has these two things on their bucket list:
Visit Humboldt County and buy some pot
Camp out in a redwood forest
If you hand most people a joint, they’ll take a toke, and if you ask them if they like like redwood trees, they’ll say “sure”, but only real devotees spend hard earned cash on pot, and only people who smoke pot all the time care about nature. Everyone else just cares about money, and how they look. No one else really gives a damn about marijuana or redwoods.
Middle-Class people don’t care about marijuana or redwood trees. Middle-class people live a middle-class fantasy. They want to go to Disneyland or Universal Studios Theme Park. They don’t want to spend time in nature, they want to visit the world they see on TV, and in the movies. If they come here at all, the lack of cheap fast-food chains will surely disappoint them. So, no point courting them.
That just leaves the rich. The main problem with courting the rich, is that there are so few of them, and so many people eager to kiss their ass. Think about it. Everyone wants to open that posh little eatery with an exquisite gourmet menu and wine list, serving a clientele for whom money is no object. Everyone wants to open that restaurant, and almost no one can afford to eat there.
When someone does open that restaurant, and the rich people fail to materialize, the owner will often blame it on the hordes of people around who can’t afford to eat there, who just seem to hang around, not eating at his expensive restaurant. The owner will complain that all of the poor people hanging around scare away the rich customers he seeks.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The rich love to see poor people. Why do you think they live in Manhattan? Nothing pleases them more than seeing the crushing force of their oppression, played out in exquisite detail in the faces of the people around them. They revel in crushing spirits more than they enjoy a gourmet meal with fine wine. So, there must be other reasons that the very few rich people in the world don’t come to Garberville.
These people can go anywhere they want. So, why don’t they come here? I mean, we’ve got marijuana, and we’ve got redwoods. Some rich people do come here. The Benbow Inn testifies to that.
But look at the contrast between The Benbow Inn and Downtown Garberville. Even without the street kids, Garberville looks pretty ordinary and pedestrian. You won’t find anything in Downtown Garberville that you can’t find in any suburban strip mall, but you’ll pay more for it in Garberville. What kind of draw is that for the rich? Not much, I’m afraid.
The thing that the rich really look for, is people who are EAGER TO KISS ASS. Rich people don’t go anywhere, unless the people there have demonstrated a strong desire to smooch rectum. I hate to break it to local merchants, but high prices and a snotty attitude do not make an establishment “high-class”. What makes a place “high-class” is lots of working people who love to kiss rich people’s asses.
So, if merchants in Garberville really want to see more rich people around them. They should learn to kiss ass better. If they want customers, at any income level, they should put more of their focus on providing the services that people want and need, at competitive prices, rather than complaining about the quality of people who come to town.