Don’t Call Me a Journalist
I don’t write this blog to edify. I don’t write this blog to inform. I write this blog to entertain…myself mostly, but a growing number of you seem seem to enjoy it as well. So, when people complain about factual inaccuracies, misleading statements or erroneous deductions, I simply refer them to the blog of someone who gives a fuck.
Some people get all bent out of shape about something they call “objective reality” full of things called “hard facts” that we can all agree on. Nothing could be further from reality. These people watch too many court dramas. The real world is nothing like a court trial, and real court trials are nothing like courtroom dramas. “Objective reality” is every bit as imaginary as Law and Order, and “hard facts” are about as relevant as Perry Mason.
What matters in the real world is perspective….my perspective. From my perspective I can tell you how it is, in a way that you can recognize as authentic. That’s why no one complains about the factual inaccuracies in this blog. You all know that I’m right, and what I say is true, despite the intentional lies and deception. That’s what’s wrong with journalism, too many fake facts, too much phony objectivity, and not enough real perspective.
These college educated news writers all believe they hold some sacred office as journalists, because allegedly, for democracy to function, we need a flourishing free press. Well democracy has failed. What fucking good did all of that phony baloney objectivity accomplish? Are people better informed? Has it elevated the level of debate? Are elected officials more accountable? Hardly!
Journalism has done more to dumb down Americans and narrow their world more than reality TV, video games, and hip-hop music combined. In reality, to maintain the illusion of democracy, “objective journalism” must flourish. Without phony “objectivity”, that antiquated Greek institution called democracy crumbles like a stinky pile of feta cheese.
Journalists report on scientific studies, interview political wonks, and quote statistics to us as though they were conveying some god-like overview of our world. This phony objectivity creates the illusion that the only way to address our problems is through the policies of a central god-like government, a tremendously stupid and dangerous idea.
Journalism buries the real perspectives of real people who live in the real world beneath empty statistics, irrelevant opinions, and a smug air of professionalism, smothering the truth like a helpless baby who won’t stop screaming.
Yes, journalism and democracy died in bed together years ago. Like everything else that matters in life, it didn’t make the news. The cause of death, an incurable STD they both contracted while working as whores for business.
People wonder why I laugh when they talk about “Journalistic Ethics”. There’s no honor among these thieves, when a bland story by a disinterested observer caries more weight that the perspective of an impassioned participant. Most news-writing is just lame voyeuristic crap pumped out to fill the space between ads, and it’s inexcusably bad. Ethics don’t make you a better writer.
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