Even ultra-violent video games like Grand Theft Auto do not satisfy the visceral human need for violence as well as that all American family pastime, Bowling. The physical exertion of heaving a heavy object at a bunch of pear shaped white things in bow ties, and the crack of thunder when you hit them just right makes bowling the ideal diversion for the rabble. Bowling’s popularity continues to decline in favor of video games, but the rise in serial killings like Columbine or Virginia Tech indicate to me that video games lack sufficient physicality to subdue the masses.
We’re Goin’ Bowling
We’re goin’ bowling, that’s what we’re gonna do
Put on your polyester shirt and your bowling shoe
You get us a lane, and I’ll go get some beer
Call up all our friends and tell them that we’re here
Go and pick a ball and aim it at the pins
Give it a good heave, try not to hit your shins
If it makes it down the alley without going in the gutter
Then all of us will cheer, if not, then you’ll just mutter
Sub-audible curses at the warpage of the floor
Then go and take a seat and pour yourself one more
Can you think of a better way that we can have some fun
Without a suped-up racing car, some whiskey and a gun?