New Drug Infused Junk Foods
HuMMAPPS, the local growers organization helping to navigate the course towards legalization, points out that edible products containing cannabis is the fastest growing sector of the marijuana market. We all know that Coca-Cola originally contained cocaine, and still would today, were it not prohibited by law. Now as we approach the end of prohibition, we may see a whole new generation of drug-infused foods hit the market. Would you try these?
Cap’n Crank– Sugary cereal, stays crunchy even in milk. Now fortified with crystal methamphetamine.
Maritos– Crisp, high-tech simulated tortilla chips. Fried in ganja butter, salted, and dusted with kief and desiccated cheese powder.
Laze Potato Chips– With heroin. Bet you can’t eat just one.
RRRRuphles have RRRRuphenol– Potato chips with ridges that stand up to dip, even when the dipper can’t stand up.
Marshmollies– Jet puffed confections contain MDMA. Toast them over a campfire, or in front of a laser at a rave, put some in your hot chocolate or just eat them straight out of the bag. You’ll love ’em.
Tranquilized Animal Crackers– Little cookies, shaped like sleeping circus animals, laced with ketamine.
Life Saving Devices– Multi-flavored roll candy with LSD.