ON The Money; Getting Emotional

On The Money;

Economic Advice for the 99%

Getting Emotional

In our culture, reason reigns supreme. In school they teach us to value reason, logic, and rational thinking, but they teach us to control our emotions, to keep them to ourselves, and not to let them interfere with our work. While the rational mind constantly gets rewarded through good grades, high-paying jobs, etc, our emotional responses, especially negative emotional responses, invoke scorn and discipline. We learn to override our emotional responses early in life, but we have emotions for a reason, and often they carry a lot of wisdom.

 

We learned to override our emotional aversion to school, which made it easier to override our emotional aversion to work. Pretty soon we start to recognize the thump of our heart, as it hits the bottom of a pit of despair, as the call of duty, and we do what we’re supposed to. We learn to expect life to suck. We rationalize it. We invent ethical codes and religions around it. We say it builds character, but have you looked around lately? I see more shallow, greedy, status conscious, small-minded idiots every day, and we here in the US work harder than anyone in the developed world. Is that the kind of character we need more of?

 

We learn how to pretend we like it, saying we love our job, doing extra work and kissing ass to prove it. We learn how to cope with life as a wage slave, while our desires, hopes and dreams turn to bitter resentment. After a while, when your emotions finally realize that you’ll never to listen to them, it all turns to depression. Depression sells pharmaceutical drugs like no other condition on Earth. If you have it, its why you can’t afford to be without health insurance. If you don’t have it, its why you can’t afford health insurance.

 

Depression, refers to the complete loss of enthusiasm for life. You may think emotions are inconvenient, silly, or irrelevant, but when your emotions give up on you, nothing else matters. Your emotions are smarter than they look, but they deserve close scrutiny. If your emotions are telling you to buy something, chances are they are being manipulated.

 

After almost 100 years of subliminal manipulation of our emotions through advertizing and mass media, we often find our emotions working at cross-purposes with our best interests. The 1% uses your emotions against you through a campaign of very sophisticated psychological warfare, carried out through advertizing and media. As a result, the more media you consume, the more inadequate you feel, the more needy you feel, and the more stuff you want.

 

Watching TV instantly turns you into the ugliest, poorest and dullest person in the room, by filling the room with sexy, witty, well-dressed people who completely ignore you. Don’t invite them into your home! Even though they seem to ignore you, everything they say and do is designed to take advantage of you, and use your emotions against you.

 

Not only has the field of psychology completely failed to help the millions of people who suffer from serious mental illness, they have induced mental illness in millions more by collaborating with business to manipulate buying, voting, driving, smoking, or any other kind of behavior they choose. Psychology is not about understanding the mind, psychology is the study of behavior, and how to manipulate it. Right now, thousands of college educated psychologists, with mortgages and student loans to pay off, are telling their bosses how much they love their job, and really knocking themselves out to find new ways to manipulate your behavior, by using your emotions against you.

 

While real rich, snooty obnoxious people might make snide comments about you while they drink all your booze and grind their cigarette butts into your carpet, they wouldn’t have an army of mad scientists orchestrating every word and movement purely for the purpose of taking advantage of you. It really pays dividends in your sanity to strictly limit your exposure to mass media, because that’s how the 1% turns your emotions against you, and you need your emotions on your side.

 

Its worth examining your emotions, because sometimes they well up from the very fiber of your being, and that emotion always has your best interest at heart. Your heart instinctively knows what’s best for you, and it will tell you so. On the other hand, if your heart’s not in it, get your body, mind, time and money out of it as well, and quit telling yourself how much you love it. Remember “the pursuit of happiness”? You will not find happiness by plunging yourself headlong into misery, day in and day out, no matter how much it pays, how proud it makes your parents, or how secure it makes you feel.

 

While you read On The Money; Economic advice for the 99%, pay attention to how your heart reacts to the ideas in this column. If you hear that little voice inside you say “Yes!”, “Right On!”, or even “That’d be nice.” when you read the ideas I present here, it’s because these ideas resonate with who we are as human beings, and our hearts remember what it was like to have meaningful, satisfying lives, instead of working ourselves to death for meaningless stuff.

 

In On The Money; Economic Advice for the 99%, I show you how to break out of those destructive habits that define our sick culture, and help you reclaim your life, your time, your dignity and your humanity, the things that really matter in life. On The Money;Economic Advice for the 99% represents a completely original and revolutionary approach to personal economics that challenges conventional thinking in a way that reveals the deceit, cruelty, and violence of our current economic system, and shows you how to turn the tables on the 1%.

 

So, read this column with an open heart, and realize that economics is bigger than money, its bigger than goods and services, its bigger than “the economy”, in fact. Economics is about how we live, how we exchange goods and services, and our impact on the environment, but economics is also about how we think and feel about our lives, and those things matter a hell of a lot more in life than the GDP, the unemployment rate, or the movements of any stock index. There’s a view of emotions in economics that’s On The Money.

Celebrate Karen Valentine’s Day

Celebrate Karen Valentine’s Day

Weds, 2/22/12, the Other Valentine’s Day

Did you forget your sweety last week? Well you get one more chance, coming up this Wednesday, February 22. You may remember Karen Valentine as the hot young teacher of unbelievably mature high school students at Walt Whitman High School, from the early ’70s TV drama Room 222. I know I sure do. With her succulent lips, and long auburn hair, in those short, short skirts, she awakened something primal in, at the time, a pre-teen me. So, I declare February 22, or 2/22 as Karen Valentine’s Day.

 

Can you think of a better day to celebrate the prurient interests of the pre-pubescent, than 2/22? Like I said before, if you blew it on Valentines Day the first time around, here’s your chance to get straight with your love, but if you already did that right, use 2/22 to celebrate a favorite hot teacher in your life.

 

I had two hot teachers in my educational history: Miss Oches in 5^th grade, who looked like Laurie from the Partridge Family, and taught us to speak German. I can still vividly picture Miss. Oches, and I can still sing Three Blind Mice in German. Vicky Ferriman, who always wore tight black polyester pants, started her teaching career in 1978 and taught me Geometry that year, as a Junior in High-School. That was the only math class I ever aced.

 

So, to Karen Valentine, Miss. Oches, Vicky Ferriman, and all of the attractive people who choose a career in education, thank you for making school suck less than it otherwise would.

Karen Valentine still looks great.

Schools, School Buses and SoHum

Schools, School Buses, and SoHum

 

On “Thank Jah its Friday” today on KMUD, Solar Dan offered an interesting solution to the current transportation problem facing the SoHum Unified School District.

For those of you who don’t live in SoHum, you probably don’t know that this very rural school district, covering an area about the size of Rhode Island, relies, or at least relied on, a one million dollar annual state subsidy to provide school bus service to the 700 or so school age students who live here in SoHum.

Last week the school board was informed that this subsidy had been cut from the state budget. So, the school district will run out of money for bus service in February. Lay off notices went out to all school bus drivers and other transport personnel just a few days ago. Starting next month, parents will be responsible for getting their kids to and from school.

My initial response was HURRAY!!! I know a lot of people like schools, and some folks even send their kids there, but I don’t care. I hate schools. I hate school buses, and I really don’t care much for school children.

I went to school. I know what goes on there. I also went to school in a rural district and spent over two hours a day in school buses getting there and back. I don’t wish that on anyone.

Even though I’ve been out of school for thirty years or so, the wounds I suffered there still pain me today. I learned to hate school early. By second grade, I had had enough. I couldn’t take it any more, and I was driven to commit an act of terrorism against a school bus.

As the youngest of a team of conspirators at my school bus stop, all of us disillusioned by school, we spent our time together at the bus stop, talking about how we could sabotage the bus, as to prevent it from making it to school. As we stood there, in the crisp morning air waiting for the inevitable arrival of that giant banana slug that would swallow us whole, grunt, groan and lurch about for another hour and a half, and eventually spit us out, nauseous and desperate to pee, at school, we would dream up elaborate schemes to disable the school bus.

Most of these plans involved technology, knowledge,and financial resources that we, as school children, lacked. But, finally, we arrived at a plan that was within our, quite limited, realm of the possible. We figured that we could put nails on the roadway, that might penetrate the tread of the school bus tire, causing a flat tire. That would leave the bus stranded by the side of the road. At last, we had a real workable plan.

The next day, I deliberately left the house by the side door, rather than the front, which led me past my father’s workbench. I knew that an open box of nails sat on top of it. I stealthily grabbed a handful of nails as I passed, and shoved them in my coat pocket. When I got to the bus stop, I showed them to my friends, and said, “Here’s just what we need!”

That’s when I first noticed my friend’s real ambivalence about actually carrying out the sabotage we had planned. They weren’t serious about it. For them, this had all been idle talk to pass a few minutes, but I hated school. I wanted to sabotage the bus, for real. I wanted that bus to be stuck by the side of the road with a flat tire, and I wanted to be late, maybe even an hour or two late for school as a result. I wanted it bad. I hated school. Did I say that before?

We had a plan. I had the tools right in the palm of my hands. I wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip by. I convinced them to go through with it. We scattered a few nails on the road, but didn’t think they would go through the tire if they were laying on their side. So, we stood one of the nails up on its head, with a few pebbles to stabilize it, right where we thought the bus tire would hit it.

My heart pounded as the bus approached, but I kept my cool. The oldest boy in our terrorist cell, however, watched the bus hit the nail, and made a gleeful display as it happened. That tipped-off the driver, so forget about the “not getting caught” part.

As it turned out, the bus didn’t get a flat tire, and we arrived at school, right on time. Later that day, however, I received a note to report to the Principle’s office. The older boys all fingered me, the second grader, as the mastermind. I played dumb and young, which, at 8yrs old, I did pretty convincingly. We had come up with that plan together. We all had a part in doing it, but the nails matched the ones on my dad’s workbench, so they had physical evidence against me.

I don’t remember the punishment. Getting caught was bad enough. Finding out that most people are just talk, and won’t do anything unless you push them, coupled with the knowledge that my friends had ratted me out, and that our plan had completely failed, affected me deeply. As a result, I still hate school buses, and school children, and most of all, I still hate schools.

Schools are prisons for children, and taxpayer-subsidized daycare for the selfish, irresponsible half-wits who have the nerve to reproduce in the face of global ecosystem collapse. …And why is this country overrun with greedy morons who reproduce like rabbits, gladly send their kids to prison, and have no idea how to live sustainably on this planet? Public schools, that’s why.

Kids aren’t born that stupid. It takes years of expensive, daily instruction to crush a child’s natural curiosity and intelligence. Public schools don’t produce intelligent, thoughtful and creative minds, they transform them into mindless consumers of pap.

So don’t whine to me about your school bus problem. On the other hand, if you wanted to put those buses to good use, take Dan Glaser’s suggestion, and create a rural SoHum bus system for everybody.

I’d sure appreciate a bus that would pick me up at the county road and drop me off in Redway or Myers Flat. I wouldn’t even complain about all the fucking rugrats on board. Wouldn’t that be progressive, environmental and cool? A rural bus system that anyone could ride would go a long way to making SoHum into the kind of hip, forward thinking and conscious community that we are so fond of pretending to be.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could catch a bus in Whitethorn, or Alder Point, or Ettersburg, or Blocksburg, that would drop you in Redway? Think of what it would mean for our carbon footprint, as a community. Think of how much better life in SoHum would be.

Think of how much easier a rural bus system would make life for a lot of the older people who live in the hills but no longer see well enough to drive safely, or for you, when your truck breaks down, or your kids want to visit friends across the watershed, or when gas prices go through the roof, or when you can no longer afford to cruise all over the countryside in your F350.

It would certainly increase the ridership on the current county bus system. People who took the bus in from the hills would use the local bus to go between Redway and G,ville, and could take the inter-city bus all the way up to Eureka. The rural bus system would really make public transportation viable in SoHum. If I have to drive my truck into Redway, there’s no way I’m taking the bus to Garberville. And, if it means I have to leave my truck, unattended, in Redway all day, I’m sure not taking the bus to Eureka. But, if I could catch a bus into Redway, I’d use them a lot.

So, lets prove that public schools haven’t completely lobotomized us as a community, and do something truly progressive and intelligent for a change. Lets turn this crisis into an opportunity to do something that actually serves the community’s needs and makes a real step forward towards reigning in our carbon footprint and moving towards a sustainable future.

It’s Election Day, Don’t Forget to Vote

It’s Election Day!

Don’t forget to Vote

Voting, generally a futile exercise, will be exceptionally meaningless this Election Day because we have nothing to vote on. We have no bond measures, all of the school board positions were unopposed, no referendums, no ballot initiatives, no candidates of any kind. We’ll have no secret ballots, no poll workers to chat with, no “I Voted” stickers, no running into neighbors you haven’t seen all year, no waiting up for late to hear the election results.

 

On the other hand, my recycling bin isn’t full of glossy campaign literature. The landscape hasn’t been overrun with political signage, and I haven’t heard a single attack ad. Maybe an Election Day without an election isn’t so bad after all.

 

Still, I need the exercise. So, I thought I might make up my own ballot and vote on some issues that really matter to me. Since I usually vote “absentee” anyway, I just dropped my ballot in the mailbox addressed to the Humboldt County Board of Elections care of Humboldt County Clerk and Registrar of Voters, Caroline Crnich.

 

First, a few Humboldt County issues:

 

Vote YES….I strongly favor a resolution, instructing that funds from the the County General Fund be budgeted immediately to purchase a much needed vowel. The county shall then instruct the County Clerk to insert the newly purchased vowel into her last name in a way that renders her last name, “Crnich”, pronounceable, by a 2/3 super-majority of Humboldt County voters.

 

Vote NO….On a new county ordinance prohibiting the siting of a school, park or playground within 1000 yards of a marijuana dispensary, or commercial growing operation. Children caught playing, loitering or learning within these boundaries, face harsh new penalties including a fine of no less than $500 and will be remanded to the custody of Humboldt County Child Protective Services. I encourage everyone to vote no on this. I know kids can be a real pain in the ass, and I sure don’t want them around my place, but this approach is not the answer.

 

Vote YES…On the bond measure to establish, and fund, from a one dollar per plant tax on commercial marijuana growers, a council of five individuals, elected by the people of Humboldt County to serve as Humboldt County’s official Council of Cool People. The Council of Cool People will be entrusted with authority to approve or reject names of new local marijuana strains. It is hoped that through the formation of this council, the county can save us the embarrassment of having our number-one economic export bear trade-names like “Green Crack” or “Sour Pussy”.

 

Now on to the California State ballot measures:

 

Vote YES… On a state initiative to address California’s debt crisis by renaming the state Calvin Foreman, and moving it to Mexico.

 

Vote NO…On a referendum to accept or reject an offer from McDonalds Corporation to rename The Golden Gate Bridge for a fee of $375 million dollars, and the ongoing cost of the upkeep of the bridge. McDonalds proposes changing the name of The Golden Gate Bridge to, you guessed it, The Golden Arches.

 

Vote YES…On an initiative to legalize ALL medical and recreational drugs. If this initiative passes, all commercially available drugs will be available for legal sale to any adult over the age of 21. This will include pharmaceuticals, herbal supplements, plant medicines and mushrooms, as well as new designer drugs with no known medical uses. If this law passes you will be able to purchase any drug, from Angel Dust to Zoloft, with or without a doctors recommendation, legally, so long as you can show a photo ID that proves you are of age.

 

The initiative includes a “Mandatory Minimum” for marijuana. That is, a minimum amount of marijuana that you must carry at all times. If you get pulled over for speeding, say, and you don’t have any marijuana in the car, not only will the cop give you a ticket, he will also give you some pot as well. Face it, if you were speeding, and you just got hassled by the cops, you probably really need to smoke a joint.

 

Also, a lot of really boring people like to talk a lot. They should be obligated to smoke you out if you are going to have to listen to them. If this initiative passes, they will be forced to carry some weed with them, and if they don’t have any, you can call the cops on them.

 

I wholeheartedly endorse this initiative. I cannot tell you how long I’ve dreamed of having the opportunity to buy dangerous, addictive drugs in a safe, legal environment, brightly lit, with perky sales clerks and weekly specials.

Am I the only middle-aged guy who still likes to drop acid once in a while, or occasionally feels nostalgic for the drugs of my youth, like Quaaludes and PCP, but has no idea where to find these things anymore. I want to see signs on Main St. that say “Drug Emporium” or “Phil’s Pharmacy of Fun”. This initiative can make it happen. So please vote YES on this measure.

 

I encourage everyone to get out and vote this Election Day. I think the low turnout just might be a blessing. Maybe we can pass some bold new legislation this time, and democracy will work, for a change.

On The Money, Book Learnin’

On The Money

Financial Advice for the Working-Class

Book Learnin’

 

Marilyn Monroe once said, to someone looking for a suggestion as to what to get her for her birthday, said something to the effect of “Whatever you do, don’t get me A BOOK. I already have A BOOK.”

Bookish intellectuals scoff at such talk. They’ve read hundreds, if not thousands of books, and spent countless hours browsing the stacks at dozens of libraries. Why?

 

I doubt Marilyn Monroe ever stepped inside a library, but I’ll bet she knew more about men than most intellectuals, because she spent her life surrounded by them. On the other hand, too many people seek refuge from life in books, living vicariously through the thoughts of others. This is neither healthy nor enlightening.

 

Still others consider the stack of books they’ve read a hard earned achievement, looking down at the rest of us from a high plateau of bound paper. They didn’t seek refuge from life in books, no they sacrificed their lives to acquire this knowledge, and to scale that plateau. So, they deserve to look down on the rest of us from that high place.

 

Those folks live on shaky ground, and deep down, they’re nervous about it. All written knowledge begins to crumble almost as soon as its written, but one revolutionary new idea can bring the whole intellectual construct crashing down into a heap of quaint, arcane rubble. Even though it has happened dozens of times in our history, that still doesn’t stop people from wasting their time studying these quaint arcane writings.

 

That’s because we’re really not that bright as a species. We’re pretty good with our hands. We’re quite persistent, and we can tell a good story, but we really have no more of an idea how the world works than say a baboon or even a chipmunk.

 

We’d like to believe we know how the world works, and some of those plateau-standers might convince other people that they know more than a chipmunk, but they’re just full of bunk, and the people who believe them are simply more gullible than your average rodent. Lots of creatures know how to bamboozle their own kind, nothing unique there.

 

Some people even believe that we stand at the verge of a great moment of human evolution. That we are evolving into god-like creatures capable of engineering a better world for all of us. They believe that “civilized” humans will, very shortly, through the accelerating scientific, technological, and communication revolution, achieve world peace, a sustainable way of life, equality and justice for all.

 

It sounds pretty stupid when you put it that way, doesn’t it? Maybe not as stupid as believing in some “Saviour” who’s supposed to come down from the heavens to rescue us from ourselves, but almost as stupid. If you buy into either of those stories, I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.

 

The fact that either of these stories attract so many believers is living proof that, as I said before, we are not that bright, as a species. A little brighter than chimps, sure, but probably not as bright as dolphins, who are at least smart enough to know better than to try to engineer a better ocean. Only fools and lunatics dream of a better world. The rest of us couldn’t possibly imagine such a place.

 

Unfortunately, the lunatics have been running the show, for quite some time now. So, we all have plenty of craziness to take refuge from, and stacks and stacks of lunacy to lose themselves in. That still doesn’t make it a good idea. Nor does it mean we are getting smarter as a species.

 

Quite the contrary, I fear. The more time we spend in the grossly oversimplified world of other people’s ideas, the less time we spend in the incomprehensibly rich, real world, from which all true knowledge flows. So, we increasingly inhabit a simplified, engineered world full of artificial constructs that dull, rather than stimulate the mind. After all, if the real world is what you want to know about, the real world is what you should study. The world is its own teacher.