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Nice Rifle!

Nice Rifle!

 bushmaster

“Sig Zauer”, That’s a name I haven’t heard in connection with a mass killing before, but I’m not sure he even fired it. That Bushmaster .225 AR15, on the other hand, sounds like a great gun. The media repeatedly reminded me that the Bushmaster .225 AR15 is very light. That’s important, especially if you plan on shooting a lot of people. You don’t want your arm to get too tired. You still need to be able to hold a handgun to your own head when you’re done.

SIG226

The media also offers a couple other glowing endorsements of the Bushmaster .225. Apparently the DC Sniper also chose the Bushmaster .225 AR15. Of all of the mass shooters in recent memory, the DC Sniper really seemed to be the best shot. I think that guy knew a thing or two about guns. Also, the NYC police swat team carries Bushmaster .225 AR15s. Those guys are real professionals. Even the director of the Federal ATF spoke of the Bushmaster .225 AR15 in glowing terms.

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Personally, everything I know about guns comes from the media reports following mass shootings. The Glock 9mm seems to be a popular handgun among America’s unstable youth, but that could be just a fad. This Bushmaster .225 AR15, however, sounds like a real high-quality rifle, I might need to get me one. I’m sure they cost a bit. Connecticut rich kids don’t skimp on stuff like that. I can imagine the cops arriving on the scene, surrounded by blood and dead bodies, going “Whoa, …nice rifle.”

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Clearly the Bushmaster .225 AR15 is capable of firing lots of ammunition without jamming. Apparently in an Oregon mass shooting, another Bushmaster .225 AR15 jammed, mid-spree. That couldn’t have been very good for sales. Fortunately, the low body count in the Oregon shooting prevented it from generating too much bad publicity for Bushmaster, but the most recent Connecticut school shooting insures that this will be a very merry X-mas indeed for gun dealers across America.

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You can’t buy that kind of advertizing. …Or can you? Why do they tell us this stuff? Now there’s talk of new gun control legislation. That’ll sell more guns for sure. I’m not crazy about gun control laws unless they involve disarming the police and military. I don’t think you can stop mass killings in America with gun control, any more than you can stop employee suicide at the Foxcom factory in China by locking the door to the roof.

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The term “Running Amok” comes from a phenomena that became epidemic in India during the British occupation. In that overpopulated country, under a particularly oppressive colonial occupation, young men would go mad, slashing wildly at anyone around them, with knives, as they ran through crowded streets. The fact that here in the US, it’s mostly privileged, white, middle-class kids who run amok, should tell you just how sick our dominant culture has become.

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As appealing as it appears from the outside, the middle-class lifestyle is not very satisfying, quite the opposite, in fact. Economic pressures insure that considerable resources get devoted towards keeping the affluent in a state of want. Corporations exploit every human weakness they can find, to use against them, and many among the middle-class are quite weak. Fifty-plus hour work-weeks, mortgage stress and media programming all work to weaken them further.

middle class watching tv

As a result, most middle-class people are really fucking lame.

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As the middle-class gets lamer and lamer, it gets harder and harder to prevent their kids from realizing how lame their parents, their community, and this society really are.

zappa children

Turns out that Frank Zappa wasn’t kidding when he said “If your kids ever figure out how lame you are, they will murder you in your sleep.”

frank zappa if your kids

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 20, 2012 in Frank Zappa, Humor, Music, news and politics, psychology

 

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Kirk to Enterprise, What Planet Are We On?

Kirk to Enterprise, What Planet Are We On?

I listened to Eric Kirk’s radio show, this past Thursday night at 7pm on KMUD. I read a facebook post in which Eric let us know that he had invited Andy Stunich to talk about his fears that our elected officials might commit economic suicide by government. 

As a financial advice columnist, (look for my column “On The Money; Financial Advice for the Working-Class” in the current issue of Fifth Estate Magazine) I like to entertain a diversity of opinion on economic issues, but I also tire quickly of listening to the same old conventional stupidity regurgitated and rehashed.

 

I know from listening to Eric’s show in the past, and from occasionally reading his blog, that he specializes in rehashing regurgitated stupidity, and Thursday night’s show found Eric practicing his specialty yet again. Why do you fill your head with this crap, Eric?

Every time I hear you on the radio, or visit your fetid little corner of cyberspace, I feel my soul being sucked into a vortex of empty rhetoric, going nowhere. Thursday night’s show provided a prime example.

 

This show reminded me that, while “people who fail to study history are doomed to repeat it”, people who study history don’t have a clue either. If, as Frank Zappa said, “Rock music journalism is people who can’t write, interviewing people who can’t talk, for people who can’t read”,

then the study of history is people who write too much about people who talk too much for people who read too much. While there’s always more that you can learn about history, there’s only so much that you can learn from history, especially if, by “history” you mean the history of our culture, from about 10,000 years ago to the present.

 

In reality, the ones who learn the most from “history” are the ones most eager to repeat it. Hitler learned how to engineer a genocidal holocaust by studying American history. Since the primary concern of “history” is the rise and fall of megalomaniacs, megalomaniacs can learn a lot from “history”, but what the rest of us learn from “history” is how to think like a megalomaniac.

 

We think like megalomaniacs when we imagine that we could solve the problems of society if we were in charge. Imagining that we could solve the world’s problems if we were in charge leads to pointless, inane discussions like the one I heard on KMUD Thursday night; armchair megalomaniacs endlessly debating economic policy in the most abstract terms, completely removed from the reality of life on planet Earth.

 

What do I mean by “armchair megalomaniacs”? Like I said, “history” is the story of the rise and fall of megalomaniacs. Historians endlessly examine the strategies, policies, and operational models of every megalomaniac that conquered and enslaved enough people to make the news, since written records began. On the other hand, “history” tells us almost nothing about the first three million years of the human experience, or about the thousands of tribal cultures, which survived for tens of thousands of years, until they were conquered, enslaved and annihilated by a megalomaniac and his minions.

 

Hence, American “history” begins with the “Discovery” of America by Christopher Columbus, and tends to gloss over the genocide, the slavery, the wholesale slaughter, the economic oppression and the environmental degradation, to instead focus on “The Constitution” the founding fascists, and “Democracy”. People who read too much of that crap start to believe that only megalomaniacs matter in life.

 

They start to speculate about how “history” might have gone differently if the megalomaniacs had made different decisions. For instance, they ask themselves, “What would have happened if Hitler decided not to attack Russia?” That’s what I mean by “armchair megalomaniacs”; people who aren’t particularly charismatic, or psychotically driven themselves, but like to imagine what they would do if they were Hitler, or Stalin, or Churchill, or Kennedy. As if fantasizing about being Hitler weren’t sick enough, “armchair megalomaniacs” also like to fantasize about ruling the contemporary world too.

 

Armchair megalomaniacs” refer to their vast knowledge of “history” and “economics” (another crock of shit), and try to imagine what a megalomaniac could do to solve the world’s problems, and what kind of megalomaniac they’d like to see do it. Soon, they have pretty good idea of just what kind of megalomaniac we need in charge, and usually, its someone pretty much like them.

 

The problem with this whole line of thinking, is that “ruling the world” has been an unmitigated disaster right from the beginning, and its not getting any better. Megalomaniacs have done a terrible job of managing the Earth. The idea that we can solve the problems caused by unchecked megalomania, by putting a megalomaniac more like us in charge, is the founding fallacy of democracy, and it leads to pointless , arcane discussions about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, like we heard Thursday night. In the case of last night’s show, the dancing angel was “the economy”.

 

Didn’t Eric and his guest seem to know a lot about “the economy”. They talked about “the economy” like it was a sick friend, in desperate need of immediate attention. Neither of them seemed to have a clue about the state of the global ecosystem, or the scale of environmental devastation resultant from economic activity, let alone the incredible sacrifices we all make in our quality of life, just to support unbridled profit-taking by the insatiably greedy, nor did any of that seem to matter much to them.

 

In the eyes of our “armchair megalomaniacs” Eric and his guest, the real problem we face is not the dying oceans, the melting ice-caps and the destabilization of the Earth’s climate, it’s not the growing underclass of people denied access to the basic resources of survival, and cast aside like garbage while the opulent use their economic power and influence to exploit the rest of us. No, the real problem, is that their sick friend, “the economy” might stop growing.

 

What is “the economy” anyway? “The economy” doesn’t measure the quality of people’s lives, only how much money they spend. “The economy” doesn’t measure the wealth of the planet, it only tells us how much money we got for what we stole from mother Earth, and how much we spent trying to clean up our mess. “The economy” measures how fast we liquidate the planet and our lives. “The economy” tells us how much we got paid to sacrifice our children’s future. “The economy” is a measure of how much of our lives and our birthright will be sacrificed to keep megalomania alive and well.

 

Ultimately, “the economy” is nothing but an extremely abstract set of statistics that could hardly be more difficult to gather, and couldn’t be less relevant to our day to day lives. The only reason they gather statistics on “the economy” and promote its unbridled growth, is to help megalomaniacs exploit the rest of us.

When you look at it that way, you realize that “the economy” is not your friend. The economy is an out-of-control monster ruining more of our planet, and our lives, every day. The last thing any of us really want, is for “the economy” to grow any larger. We want “the economy” off our backs.

If we survive this century, as a species, it will only be because we dramatically reduced our economic activity. Yet, as if “the economy” hasn’t already consumed enough of the world’s resources, and, as if “the economy” doesn’t already consume enough of our lives, Eric Kirk used the community airwaves to present to us, Andy Stunich’s dire warning that our current crop of megalomaniacs might slow the growth of “the economy” by spending money we don’t have on the popular programs that only exist, not unlike “the economy” itself, to serve the interests, and insure the stability of, their own regime.

 

This is like being trapped in a car with no brakes, driven by a rabid monkey at 100mph on the Pacific Coast Highway, and being warned that we might not have enough gas to keep accelerating. Running out of gas would be a blessing, but we’re not running out of gas, we’ve gone over a cliff, so the amount of gas in the tank only matters in determining how big of a fireball it will make when we crash. It’s time to stop looking at the gas gauge, turn off that idiot on the radio, and look out the window.

 

What planet do these guys live on, anyway? Obviously Eric Kirk and his guest speak to us from a world inhabited by armchair megalomaniacs, who subsist on a diet of corporate exploitation and reside in a jungle of empty rhetoric. Please Scotty, beam them back.

 

 

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Why Guitar Players Have Better Love Lives

Why Guitar Players Have Better Love Lives

 

Ever since the heyday of rock music, when throngs on eager nubile young groupies swarmed guitarists like Frank Zappa, Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix, most folks have assumed that the only reason young men learn to play the guitar, is to score with women. This is true, but only because the only reason men do anything, besides drink and fart, is to score with women.

Is that Robert Fripp on the right?

From the quarterback on the high-school football team, to the class clown, to the most studious bookworm to the biggest burnout, the only reason a guy exerts any effort at anything, is to impress women, starting with his mother. Unfortunately, most of the things that guys do to impress women, completely fail to do so.

 

How often have you heard women complain about the stupid things men do, that they hate, and all the things they wish men would do, but they don’t? What causes this disconnect between the stupid things men do to impress women, and the stupid things women want men to do?

A large part of this problem stems from the fact that men, especially young men, do not understand how women think. Men cannot fathom why women dress the way they do, why they concern themselves with their appearance, why they like colors, why they think a movie needs more than boobs and explosions to be good, and why they would hesitate, for even a second, at any opportunity to have consensual sex. Men cannot comprehend any of this.

Further, men don’t want to comprehend any of this. Its not that we don’t care, we are actively, fingers stuffed in our ears, la, la, la, la, Not Listening. We don’t want to understand why women worry about their appearance because we don’t want to worry about our appearance. We like black. We like boobs, and we like explosions.

Most of all, we don’t ever want to pause and reflect on whether sex is a good idea under any circumstance. We want to find new ways to overcome women’s objections to sex under any circumstance. Men know that women are smarter. Men also know that men are stronger. Men think that the extra knowledge that women have, makes women weak, and gives men an edge. So, men do not want to know what women think, or how women think. The idea that women think at all still frightens us.

So, how do men decide what they will do to impress the women around them? They certainly will not ask the women around them. No, instead they will look within themselves. A man looks at what impresses him; professional athletes, Green Berets, NASCAR Drivers, Hollywood stunt men, comedians, and the guy who plays lead guitar in his favorite band.

Men seek to impress the women around them by emulating the people that impress them Men play sports, or engage in other silly behavior like driving too fast, doing skateboard tricks, telling stupid jokes, joining the Marines, or learning to play the guitar. Men exert tremendous time, money and energy, learn to discipline themselves, and risk injury or death in these activities, to impress women who, by and large, don’t care about sports, NASCAR, war, action movies, or heavy metal music.

A few men have an exceptional natural talent in these areas, and among them a few even manage to make a career for themselves, simply with their flawless execution of these otherwise stupid, fruitless, and dangerous activities. The rest of us, even though we completely fail to to achieve our own goals, come out of the experience shaken, wounded, and broke, but more or less satisfied that we’ve given it our best shot.

Whether it was the one season you won the pennant, that 1st tour in Afghanistan, or the night your band rocked the house, these events define us, shape our lives, and make us who we are. What finally succeeds in making us attractive to women, is that we are satisfied with ourselves, even when we fail.

Women are never satisfied with themselves. They envy our self-satisfaction, and like being around someone who isn’t always worried about how they look, or what people say about them. Ultimately that’s why women love us.

However, some of the stupid things we do to impress women in our youth, don’t leave us in very good shape for building relationships with the women who actually love us. For instance; many servicemen returning from combat find it very difficult to readjust to civilian life. War injuries, combat related stress, and military experience in general can have a deleterious effect on a man’s ability to enjoy, and fully participate in a relationship.

Sports fosters competitiveness. Competitiveness does not necessarily help in a relationship, either.

Guitar players, on the other hand, develop strong, sensitive fingers. A guitar player knows how to listen. A guitar player can work with others without competing. A guitar player can tell when a relationship is working, and when it isn’t, and a guitar player knows how to express emotion.

For these reasons, of all of the stupid things that men do to impress women, learning to play the guitar turns out to be very effective in the long run.

 

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The Night I Met Frank Zappa

The Night I Met Frank Zappa

Did I ever tell you about the time Frank Zappa dropped by unexpectedly?

Or maybe I just saw that on TV. It all happened so long ago. I was late and it was very high.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 16, 2011 in art, drugs, farce, Frank Zappa, Humor, marijuana, Music, Satire

 

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