Thank You for Supporting Like You’ve Got Something Better to Do

Thank You for Supporting Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do

To everyone who voted for Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do in the North Coast Journal’s “Best of Humboldt” readers survey, thank you for supporting my campaign. I really appreciate that you took time out of your day to cast a ballot for this blog, and I will continue to work hard for you, delivering the same caliber of pointless drivel that you’ve come to expect from me here at: www.lygsbtd.wordpress.com.

 

I don’t know why it takes the NCJ two weeks to count the ballots, but they can take their sweet time if they want to, after all, its their newspaper. I’ve already gotten more ink out of the NCJ than I expected. The words, “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do is the funniest blog in Humboldt County” appeared in the North Coast Journal two weeks ago, so the truth is out. Despite their vote rigging shenanigans, the NCJ just couldn’t hold this blog down.

 

As far as I’m concerned, we’ve already won this contest, but we’ll see how the vote comes out on Sept. 20. After the “voting irregularities” the supporters of this blog experienced in the balloting phase of this contest, who knows what the NCJ will do, now that they have two weeks alone with all of the ballots. They’re certainly not above suspicion, considering the circumstances.

 

Humboldt County’s world famous Transparency Project doesn’t apply to private surveys like this, and the NCJ rejected my demand that I personally be allowed to monitor the entire ballot sequestration and count, almost as soon as I set up my sleeping bag in their office. With no election observers, we may never know the true will of the people, but on September 20, the NCJ has promised to publish some results, and I’m sure I’ll have something to say about them.

 

Until then, Thank You for reading Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do, and Thank You for voting for Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do as Humboldt’s best blog. You Rock!!!!

 

Our Finest Hour

Our Finest Hour

My Fellow Americans,

 

Today, we face challenging times. Economic malaise, global environmental meltdown and worldwide political upheaval threaten everything we hold dear. Some would say that times like these demand strong leadership. I say, “Hogwash!”

Strong leadership got us into this mess. Self-confident liars have used our instinctual trust, cooperative nature, and natural compassion against us, and we have paid dearly for our willingness to believe in them. It’s high-time we learned our lesson from those mistakes.

 

We don’t need leaders anymore, because we are not followers. We are not sheep, and will not be led hither and yon by a well-funded political class with its own agenda. We reject the voice of authority, and scoff at the voice of reason.

Instinctively, we know how to navigate these rough seas. We know what to do in a cultural dead-end, like the one we currently face. When things fall apart, and nothing makes any sense anymore, we turn to the things we can count on; drug abuse, kinky sex, and stupid humor, the things we get from each other.

You can count on me for stupid humor, just like I count on you for sex and drugs. We need each other, but today, I need more from you than sex and drugs. Today, I need your vote. Please vote for this blog, “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” in the North Coast Journal’s “Best of Humboldt” reader survey. Today is our last day to inundate the NCJ with votes for this blog, so please, do it right now.

Cast your vote for stupid humor and fresh perspective, today! Go to the NCJ website. Click on the long skinny bar near the top of the page that takes you to the ballot. Click through all of the categories until you get to the last one, number 40, “best blog”. Type in (or cut and paste) “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” into the space next to that category. Then click through the remaining pages until you see the winged kitten. It’s that easy, and takes less than a minute. You’ll be glad you did, but DO IT NOW!!

Don’t throw your vote away on one of the news blogs. Don’t you get way too much news? Isn’t it sick the way they compete to be the first to tell you about the latest grisly traffic fatality or police shooting? Like you don’t have enough trouble in your life, that you can’t wait a few hours, or even a few days, to learn of the death of a stranger.

Yes, journalists like to quote Thomas Jefferson to justify their existence, and hide behind an air of professionalism, but these low-lifes chase ambulances simply to bait the rubbernecker in us with the freshest blood. Journalists pimp human suffering purely for the purpose of indulging our prurient curiosity. Don’t fall for their ruse, and don’t encourage them by voting for a news blog. Instead, vote for “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” in the NCJ “Best of Humboldt” readers survey.

Political blogs are even worse. The idiocy that passes for political debate in this country, and the horse-race style coverage of political campaigns should provide anyone with a gnat’s wit or better, plenty of evidence that democracy has failed. Still, Humboldt’s political blogs, full of pitifully dull posts and littered with moronic comments, continue to fester. I don’t know why anyone would sip the puss from those infections. If I were you, I wouldn’t admit to reading these blogs, let alone vote for them.

Besides news and political blogs, blogs that revolve around recipes and human interest stories suck too. If you read a recipe on line, it might look good, but to really enjoy it, you still have to buy the ingredients, and prepare the dish, and even then, you might not enjoy it. You have to spend the money. You have to do the work. You have to follow their instructions, like some indentured servant, before you get to enjoy anything. They get to tell you what to do. You just do what you are told and eat what they tell you to eat. How pathetic!

Reading a blog is enough work, I say, and I expect something for it. I should get a laugh, a chuckle, a grin, or at least a fresh, if somewhat twisted, perspective, and I shouldn’t have to make a mess of my kitchen in the process. If I spend my time and energy to read something, dammit, I better enjoy it, right now! I write “Like You’ve Got something Better To Do” for people like me; people who hate to read, love to laugh, and demand immediate gratification. If you read “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” regularly, you know that I deliver the goods, week in, and week out.

Today, I ask you to give back a little. Please cast your vote for “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” in the North Coast Journal’s “Best of Humboldt” readers poll. We have entered the very last hours of this campaign. Today, Weds. September 5, at 4pm, the NCJ will close the survey, and they will accept no votes after that time, so please, do not delay, do it today. Cast your vote now.

If you’ve already voted for “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” as Humboldt’s best blog in the 2012 NCJ readers poll, I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Thank you and God Bless America!!!

 

I Run a Clean Positive Campaign

I Run a Clean, Positive Campaign

 

As you may know, this political season finds me in the midst of a hotly contested campaign. We’ve faced some difficult challenges so far, but thanks to a tremendous effort by the amazing readers who support this blog, we’ve put an end to electoral shenanigans at the NCJ. Now we have to win the election.

We only have until Sept 5, that’s next Weds., to get AS MANY VOTES AS POSSIBLE in to the NCJ “Best of Humboldt” reader survey. This critical deadline means that you need to cast your ballot Today!  I cannot stress enough, how important it is to vote for “Like You’ve Got Something Better to Do” in the North Coast Journal’s “Best of Humboldt” reader survey. Please do it RIGHT NOW!!!

 

The future hangs in the balance. Raising the profile of this blog, to the status of “Best of Humboldt” could have a dramatic effect on the scope of public debate, politics and policy, here in Humboldt County. I know that seems extraordinarily unlikely, but you have the power to make it happen. Please, take that critical step. Vote for “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” as “best blog” in the NCJ “Best of Humboldt” reader survey.

Regardless, of the high-stakes, I want to keep this a clean, positive campaign. This campaign has always been about the strength of the material here at “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do”, not about badmouthing other, less deserving blogs. However, as you undoubtedly know, the gloves are off when it comes to campaign spending. In this environment, I cannot afford to tell my larger donors not to form a SuperPAC.

Law prohibits SuperPACs from coordinating with the campaign of the candidate they support. So, I have no control whatsoever over anything this new SuperPAC, “Swiftblog Inveterates With Nothing Better To Do” does or says. The “Swiftblog Inveterates With Nothing Better To Do”, in turn, cannot say anything to endorse me or my campaign, but will work to raise important facts about the Humboldt county blogosphere that they feel every NCJ reader should know.

Please remember, that unless you see my name, John Hardin, specifically endorsing an ad, I have nothing whatsoever to do with it. I know the onslaught of negative political ads becomes tiresome. I’m sure you are sick of the twisted misrepresentations, the extreme lowbrow appeal, and the just plain ugly tone of politics these days. I am sick of it too, that’s why I run this campaign on the strength of what you read here at “Like you’ve Got Something Better To Do”.

I work hard to make “Like You’ve got Something better To Do” entertaining, to present thought provoking essays, and to show up every fucking week. Whether its a poem, a “Word Power” vocabulary word, an “On The Money” economic advice column, or a “You Call That Cooking” food story, “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” delivers steaming hot blog posts to your device of choice, every fucking week.

That’s dedication. That’s service. That’s the kind of blog I run here at “Like You’ve Got Something Better to Do”. You can count on me, because I’ve proven that I can deliver the goods.

Today, I need you to deliver the goods. Please, click this link. It takes you to the NCJ website, click on the long skinny button that takes you to the ballot. Click through to the very last category, the type in (or copy and paste) “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” next to the category labeled “Best Blog” then click through till you see the kitten with wings. That’s all it takes. Please do it now!!! Thank you. I am John Hardin, and I endorse this message.

 

Does Anyone Remember Laughter

Does Anyone Remember Laughter?

 

Do you remember when this blog used to be funny? You neither huh. I know its been awhile, but just hang in there. Look, it’s summertime, and sometimes I like to pretend like I have a life outside of this blog. I just need a little ME time, OK. It’s not like I don’t still deliver at least one thought-provoking essay every week.

 

My economic advice column: On The Money; Economic Advice for the 99% offers the kind of sound economic counsel that you won’t get from other pundits, the kind of advice you need to make sense of our current economic crisis, and make the decisions that will determine your future. Even though I can’t think of a more absurd or ridiculous subject than economics, I’ll admit that not everything about it is hilarious. You should read On The Money, every week, because the future is at stake, and some things are more important than a cheap laugh. There’s a little extra economic advice that’s On The Money.

 

Still, I really don’t want to lose those readers who don’t give a fuck about the future. Many of you can barely muster enough enthusiasm to get through today, let alone tomorrow, and you look to this blog for a bit of laughter that provides sweet relief from the misery of your pitiful lives. I know how you feel. I mean, I don’t really know how you feel, but if you read this blog regularly, I can’t imagine that you are a happy, well adjusted person. So I sympathize.

 

But really, what do you do for me, besides suck up my creativity? Could you leave a comment, or click the fucking like button once in a while? Is that too much to ask?!? Statistics tell me that over six-thousand people a week visit this site. Every fucking minute of every fucking day, someone is looking at this site, just sitting there, impassively, expecting me to entertain them, or inform them, or provide them with a photograph of a tattooed penis, on demand, 24-7-365, and they want to see new material every week. Even that’s not enough for them, they want new funny material every week.

 

So do I! Do you think I like going through my day without chuckling to myself about something silly. Lately, I’ve been too busy playing with my Bratz drum machine and Barbie keyboard to think of anything funny to write about. Does the irony in that statement count?

 

I have a list of unfunny projects that I absolutely have to get done this summer. I’ve got to split a few cords of firewood. Humor doesn’t help me there. Hatred, rage, and resentment go a long way toward getting that firewood chopped, humor, not so much. You don’t want to know what goes through my mind when I chop firewood, so I’ll keep that to myself.

 

Even the TV networks go into reruns in the summertime, but people still watch them. So cut me some slack. I’ll bet you’ve missed a few good posts in the last 15 months. Here’s a few pieces that I like, but really haven’t gotten the play I think they deserve.

New Courses HSU Should Offer

SoHum Vacation Guide

How to Party Now That the Party’s Over

And please, keep coming back for more.

 

 

This Blog Celebrates its First Birthday

This Blog Celebrates its First Birthday

 

Almost exactly one year ago, May 20 2011, I posted a few short essays and a poem here at www.lygsbtd.wordpress.com. One year, 185 essays and over 170,000 page views later, I still don’t know what I’m doing here, but now, every minute of every day, over 1,000 times a day, someone visits this blog looking for something.

185 essays in one year! Can you believe it? That’s one every other day. That seems a bit excessive to me. Don’t I have something else to do with my life? Apparently not.

It’s not like this stuff just appears out of thin air. No, there has to be a lot of marijuana smoke in the air for this stuff to appear. That means I spend a lot of time smoking marijuana and staring at a blank sheet of paper, before I remember that I’m supposed to be writing something, and even longer before I remember what on Earth I am supposed to write about. Speaking of which…

What am I supposed to write about? My remote off-the-grid lifestyle imposes some limitations on my subject matter. With no internet connection or phone, I don’t exactly have a world of information at my fingertips, so I don’t write about anything that requires research. I stick to what I know, make up, or hear on the radio. Since I really don’t know that much, and the radio doesn’t give me a whole lot to work with, I rely on my imagination quite a bit. I have a much more interesting life in my imagination, and it gives me plenty to write about. It is where I prefer to spend my time

Still I try to write about stuff that normal people can relate to. Hence the recurring themes of sex, junk food, and economic oppression. I suppose there is more to life than sex, junk food and economic oppression. I just can’t think of anything else right now.

I know some people like to make a big deal out of politics and sports, but they don’t mean anything, change anything, or make any difference in anyone’s life, except for the worse. No, sports and politics just distracts us from the fact that all we have to look forward to in life is sex, junk food, and economic oppression.

So, basically, the way I see it, if you are not getting laid, your life pretty much sucks, but even if you are getting laid, junk food and economic oppression can still get you down, if you don’t find a way to laugh at it. Which is why we are all here, right?

I mean you’re not here because you want your penis tattooed, or because you are looking for a prostitute, or want to see a good image of necrophilia, are you?

 

You are?

Really?

All of you?

Oh well. Here’s to a solid year of online masturbation at http://www.lygsbtd.wordpress.com

 

Welcome To The SoHum Community Blog

Welcome to The Southern Humboldt Community Blog

 

Welcome to the newly renamed, Southern Humboldt Community Blog.  If I’ve learned anything from the good people of Southern Humboldt, that is how to turn a private enterprise into a publicly supported non-profit, and vice-verse. Here in Sohum, people have learned to blend private property, local business interests and the non-profit sector in many new and unique ways, that I find absolutely fascinating, and inspiring.

 

Hence the new name for this blog. I sure would appreciate some community support for all of the great work I do here at www.lygsbtd.wordpress.com. So, not unlike other insular, self-serving, cliques in the area, I have skillfully inserted the word “Community” into the name of my personal pet project, and filed for non-profit status. Now you can make a tax-deductible donation to the SoHum Community Blog, by making a deposit to account # 13339 at the Southern Humboldt Community Credit Union, or you may send check or money order to P.O.Box 2301 Redway, CA 95560.

Let me remind you of some of the great work I’ve done here at the Southern Humboldt Community Blog. I’ve been a tireless advocate for the homeless, writing several articles addressing the challenges faced by this community’s most vulnerable citizens. I’ve provided unique coverage of Humboldt Co. elections. I’ve covered arts and entertainment, and I’ve written numerous provocative editorials that challenge this community to face the important issues of our time, with a fresh perspective.

 

How much is this priceless gem, the Southern Humboldt Community Blog, worth to you. At least a hundred bucks, right? So that’s what I ask of everyone in this community. A $100 donation will make you an official supporter of the Southern Humboldt Community Blog, entitling you to special privileges, and invitations. Specifically, you will receive invitations to special fund-raising events in the future.

 

Will you, as a community member, and supporter of the Southern Humboldt Community Blog, be able to participate in providing content to the Southern Humboldt Community Blog? In a word, “No”.

 

Of course your comments are always welcome here at the Southern Humboldt Community Blog. I very much value and appreciate your input. I sincerely hope you will comment on every piece that I post, but don’t expect to post anything here yourself.

 

After all, I founded this blog. I’ve put in hundreds of hours of volunteer time on this blog. I currently serve as the President, Vice President, Secretary, and Treasurer. I also hold the remaining three seats on the Board of Directors. All in all, a truly grueling commitment of time and energy, but I ‘m happy to make the sacrifice for my community.

 

No, what I need from this community is support. I need financial support. This blog costs money. I go through one of these 3 subject spiral notebooks every month. I can’t tell you how many Pilot G2 refills I’ve drained putting these pieces together. My laptop computer, almost entirely devoted to producing this blog, occasionally requires service. But by far, the biggest expense I incur, as a result of providing this valuable service to my beloved SoHum community, is all of the bad food I have to buy, and eat in order to get enough “free” wifi time to post this gem of the Emerald Triangle, to the internet.

 

So I need funds. I need internet access. I need good organic food, and I need someone to wash my truck once in a while. I don’t need your drivel. Not unlike other local non-profit community groups, I generate plenty enough drivel to keep this non-profit going well into the future.

I just need this community to step up to the plate with the kind of support it takes to keep this vitally important community service alive. Thank-You for giving generously.

 

My 100th Post, and First Apology

My 100^th Post, and First Apology

 

First the apology: if you read this blog regularly, you know I’m an idiot. Last week I included an image in a post that I very much regret including. I have since removed and replaced it with a more appropriate image. The image included text in a foreign language that did not say what I thought it did. While I am an idiot, and stupidly neglected to translate the text before I posted it, I’m not that kind of idiot. I very much regret the mistake, and sincerely apologize to everyone who saw it, and especially anyone it offended.

 

Other than that, anything else you found, or find offensive in this blog was intentional. Fuck you.

 

By now, there’s plenty else here to offend your sensibilities, because this is my 100^th post here at lygsbtd.wordpress.com You might not think its a big deal. After all, for you, this stuff just magically appears every Tuesday. For me, however, this blog is a constant struggle to find something to write about. This 100^th post means something to me. It means I’ve reached a milestone worth celebrating. It means I have a body of work here to reflect on, and most importantly, it gives me something to write about this week.

 

I started this blog about 6 months ago. 100 posts later, the blog has begun to take shape, develop its own character and attract its own audience. So, you have here, a collection of everything I’ve felt like writing about for the last six months.

 

Clearly the most popular regular feature at lygsbtd is “On The Money, Financial Advice for the Working-Class”. While the airwaves, internet, and newsstands overflow with financial advice for the investment class. I recognized that Working-Class Americans have differing financial needs and economic interests from the investment-class. You’ll find the advice I offer, radically different from what you find in Barons or The Wall St. Journal. You’ll find 17 “On The Money” columns among the first 100 posts.

17 “On The Money”

It’s Smart to be Dumb

Who’s Default is it Anyway

Double-Dip or Banana Split

Labor Day and NPR

Too Much Information

Why Can’t We All Get Along

Time v Money

Work

The Collapsing Middle-Class

Cultural Bankruptcy

A Golden Opportunity for Investors

The Blue Chips

Stock Market Investing

Unemployment

The National Debt

Public Education

 Investment

You will also find 17 “Word Power” pieces. This is kind of a “milk-carton project” for lost words. I regularly scan the dictionary for words that seem to slip through the cracks of our modern lexicon. I post them, with their definitions, and encourage people to use them in context. That way, these words can get out and socialize a bit. Words that only appear occasionally in print, rarely get to associate with the spicier expletives that pepper my, and my readers daily speech. My blog is one place where where the vulgar and the arcane can mingle.

17 “Word Power”

Misericord

Myrmecophagous

Cathect

Jeroboam

Crepuscular

Zymurgy

Thaumaturge

Balanophagy

Zeugma

Isochronal

Vulpine

Perionychium

Apotropaic

Suigeneris

Picaresque

Emolument

Invaginate

Among these first 100 post you will find 12 poems. I don’t know how you feel about poetry. I don’t care for it much, myself, but it pays the bills. Ever since my first anthology of autobiographical poems about growing up in an old New England whaling town came out, I’ve had the luxury of doing what I want in life without having to worry so much about money. “The Man From Nantucket” quickly became an American classic, and I still receive royalties every quarter from the x-rated film adaptation, which I also starred in.

12 Poems

The Second Dip

Please Vote for This Blog

We’re Going Bowling

For the Birds

Dr. William Gilly and the Humboldt Squid

Patriotic Poem for Ronald Reagan

Moderation

An Apotropaic Moment

The 3:00am Phone Call

A Wife’s Discovery

An Existential Poem

Poem???

My real passion, however, is writing, including the occasional poem.  Like many writers, I often write about my local community:

Local Humboldt Co. Flavor

A New Emerald City

Humboldt’s Lesser Known Festivals

Riot at Romano Gabriel Exhibit

Economics of Shit in SoHum

Andrew Goff, Romano Gabriel Win Me a Sundae

SoHum Suffers from a Shortage of Homeless People

New Courses HSU Should Offer

Stay Away From the Water in SoHum

So Long, Old People

Only in Humboldt County

SoHum Town Attempts Bold Makeover

My Blog Ties for 5^th

When I really can’t think of anything else to write about, I’ll review something I like. So far I’ve reviewed one band, one album, one zine and one grocery store.

 

4 Reviews

Grocery Store Review, Eureka Natural Foods

Album Review, Aphrodite’s Child 666

Zine Review, The Black Lamp by Ocra

Band Review, CMKT 4

Of the remaining 38 essays, These are some of my favorites:

Some of My Favorites

How to Party now that the Party’s Over

How to Score With Women

The lygsbtd Giftshop

A Feminist Critique and T-Shirt Offer

How to Mainstream The Tea Party

Hello Necrophiliacs

Terrific New Product, and Site Sponsor, MyPee

I Report From the Paris Air Show

New Drug Infused Junk Foods

Don’t Call Me a Journalist

Invasion of the Google-bots

Including this post, that adds up to one hundred posts, enough to build a pretty long fence.

 

Invasion of the Google-bots

Invasion of the Google-bots

OK, what are you, and who are you doing here? I mean, who are you, and what are you doing here? According to my statistics, this site gets thousands of “visits” a week. I see very few comments, no “likes”, yet every week, I get more and more “visits”. If you don’t “like” what you read here, why do you keep coming back?

 

If you are a real person, I ‘m really glad you are here. Please don’t misunderstand me. I want real people to read my work, but I find it hard to believe that thousands of people read “On the Money, Work” every week, but no one leaves a comment.

 

That seems strange to me. I’d comment. I’d say something like “Right ON, work SUCKS!!!” and I’d click the ‘like” button. But, I wrote the piece. If I didn’t like it I’d still comment, I’d say “Fuck you!! get a job, you lazy hippie!!!!”. Either way, I’d say something with a liberal sprinkling of exclamation points. If I just thought the piece was stupid, I probably wouldn’t say anything, but then I wouldn’t come back to the site. So, what gives?

 

The Professor suggested that Google-bots may be sucking up my bandwidth. Google-bots! What kind of web-vermin are they?. What are they doing here? How can I get rid of them? Doesn’t AVG protect me from them, or do I have to call an exterminator?

 

I don’t want to kill you, or drive you away from this blog, provided you are a real person. And I don’t mind a bot or two, cruising through now and again, but they shouldn’t be swarming all over my blog. If they bother you while you are here, please let me know.

 

Why is Google sending swarms of Google-bots to my blog? What’s with their moto, anyway: “Don’t be evil”? Greedy, sure, ruthless, absolutely, invasive and prying, fine, but not evil. Well roaches aren’t evil either, but I don’t want them crawling all over my blog!

 

No, I want you to enjoy a clean, polished blog without any verminous Google-bots. So, I did some research into these matters and learned a few things about Google-bots and other browser parasites. I discovered the following site:

Browser Delouser

 I ask anyone who was directed to this site, from a Google search, to click this link. It will take you to the Browser Delouser, which removes Google-bots and stops their proliferation. I encourage you to bookmark this page, and visit it after every Google search.

 

The Browser Delouser removes Google-bots, Windows-worms, Apple-borers and Linux-lice. These vermin, rather than invade your computer, mostly stick to the leading edge of your browser, sucking up bandwidth, by sending data streams of your web-browsing habits, ogling the porn you download, and sending text messages to their friends.

 

While they are not computer viruses themselves, they often carry viruses and other computer infections. So, it pays to limit your exposure to them. I run a nice clean blog here, let’s keep it that way.

 

A Feminist Critique of This Blog, and T-Shirt Offer

A Feminist Critique, and T-Shirt Offer

Well if you won’t, I will. As a sensitive new-age guy, who genuinely loves women, I’m offended by the excessive amount of T+A, and objectified images of women’s bodies in this blog, especially women’s bodies of a particular body type. I mean, I like looking at these images, but feel they degrade and dehumanize women, and are probably not helping me gain female readers.

 

As the author of this blog, I don’t give a fuck what I think as a “sensitive new-age guy”, I want my blog to be funny, provocative and hard to take your eye off. I want people to love my blog. If some people want to have sex with it, that’s a good start, but I understand that not everyone gets a pleasant rush of hormone every time they see a flash of female flesh.

I sure wouldm't read a blog if it was full of images like this.

I worry about my female readers who might actually enjoy my writing more, were it not so liberally sprinkled with exploitative, sexualized, images of women. I get it. Women are not sex objects. Women are people, interesting people, people with a sense of humor. But strangely, people who don’t necessarily feel physical pleasure as a result of seeing cleavage.

I hate babies too!

Women who read this blog might not appreciate being bombarded with this kind of imagery, especially since it is so prevalent every where else in our culture, and especially don’t like being judged according to their approximation to these totally unrealistic, and manufactured, images of hyper-sexualized beauty.

Awwwww!

I hear you there! I hate seeing guys who are better looking than me, in pictures or in person. That’s why I live deep in the woods, don’t have a TV and my social life revolves around the Ham radio club.

SoHum Amateur Radio Club, I'm second from right

If I were constantly bombarded by images of good looking guys, showing off how good looking they were, in hopes of selling stuff to my girlfriend, it would really piss me off. But, it would also start to look pretty stupid and ridiculous after a while. Stupid and ridiculous is my stock in trade. So, lets look at why I used some of these images.

 

I found this image labeled “female college student with beer”. This woman is at least 30. Are we to believe that she took a break from writing her doctoral thesis to pose in her bikini. 30 is a great age to be, and she looks healthy. She obviously takes care of herself and leads an active lifestyle. But look at the desperation in her eyes. Here you see playful youth giving way to nervous middle-age. I thought the desperation in her eyes conveyed my desperation to buy your vote with beer.

 

This, artists rendition of a flag-draped woman, hot for some Labor Day lovin’ in shimmering red, white and blue expresses patriotism and respect for American workers… eroticized. Despite child labor laws, I never thought of Labor Day as an “adult themed” holiday, maybe I’m missing something, but I thought it was funny.

 

Occasionally, I find the image of a woman wearing the message I’m trying to convey in my prose. I use these images to add emphasis, and make that particular message stand out in your memory. I call these images “message boobs”. I’ve noticed that in my life, the words that I remember the longest, and that made the biggest difference to me, were those printed on women’s T-shirts. I only know what feminism means because I saw the word, its pronunciation and definition on a woman’s T-shirt years ago, and the only reason I ever listened to Bob Marley, was because a pair of boobs told me to.

 

Women’s boobs are powerful. If I could do it, this whole blog would appear stretched across a pair of boobs, just because I want people to remember what they read here. Then I had this idea.

http://www.cafepress.com/lygsbtd

 

I would love to see women everywhere wearing this T-shirt, in support of this blog, and as your way of saying that you don’t think I’m a sexist pig, but rather a pig with a healthy love and appreciation for women. I can think of no better way to spread the word about this blog everywhere you go, and the idea of my logo stretched across your boobs really turns me on. So please, order yours today!

 

Look, the only real reason I became a feminist in the first place, was to score with women. So, women who read this blog, how does this blog score with you? I appreciate any and all comments.

 

Word Power, Cathect

Word Power

Building Your Vocabulary One Word at a Time

Cathect

ca thect (keh, ‘thekt) v to invest with mental or emotional energy

Cathect, its what I do to this blog instead of looking for a job. Putting together these weekly posts is an act of cathexis. I encourage everyone to cathect something or someone today, and wish you much success with your cathexis.