Our Finest Hour
My Fellow Americans,
Today, we face challenging times. Economic malaise, global environmental meltdown and worldwide political upheaval threaten everything we hold dear. Some would say that times like these demand strong leadership. I say, “Hogwash!”
Strong leadership got us into this mess. Self-confident liars have used our instinctual trust, cooperative nature, and natural compassion against us, and we have paid dearly for our willingness to believe in them. It’s high-time we learned our lesson from those mistakes.
We don’t need leaders anymore, because we are not followers. We are not sheep, and will not be led hither and yon by a well-funded political class with its own agenda. We reject the voice of authority, and scoff at the voice of reason.
Instinctively, we know how to navigate these rough seas. We know what to do in a cultural dead-end, like the one we currently face. When things fall apart, and nothing makes any sense anymore, we turn to the things we can count on; drug abuse, kinky sex, and stupid humor, the things we get from each other.
You can count on me for stupid humor, just like I count on you for sex and drugs. We need each other, but today, I need more from you than sex and drugs. Today, I need your vote. Please vote for this blog, “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” in the North Coast Journal’s “Best of Humboldt” reader survey. Today is our last day to inundate the NCJ with votes for this blog, so please, do it right now.
Cast your vote for stupid humor and fresh perspective, today! Go to the NCJ website. Click on the long skinny bar near the top of the page that takes you to the ballot. Click through all of the categories until you get to the last one, number 40, “best blog”. Type in (or cut and paste) “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” into the space next to that category. Then click through the remaining pages until you see the winged kitten. It’s that easy, and takes less than a minute. You’ll be glad you did, but DO IT NOW!!
Don’t throw your vote away on one of the news blogs. Don’t you get way too much news? Isn’t it sick the way they compete to be the first to tell you about the latest grisly traffic fatality or police shooting? Like you don’t have enough trouble in your life, that you can’t wait a few hours, or even a few days, to learn of the death of a stranger.
Yes, journalists like to quote Thomas Jefferson to justify their existence, and hide behind an air of professionalism, but these low-lifes chase ambulances simply to bait the rubbernecker in us with the freshest blood. Journalists pimp human suffering purely for the purpose of indulging our prurient curiosity. Don’t fall for their ruse, and don’t encourage them by voting for a news blog. Instead, vote for “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” in the NCJ “Best of Humboldt” readers survey.
Political blogs are even worse. The idiocy that passes for political debate in this country, and the horse-race style coverage of political campaigns should provide anyone with a gnat’s wit or better, plenty of evidence that democracy has failed. Still, Humboldt’s political blogs, full of pitifully dull posts and littered with moronic comments, continue to fester. I don’t know why anyone would sip the puss from those infections. If I were you, I wouldn’t admit to reading these blogs, let alone vote for them.
Besides news and political blogs, blogs that revolve around recipes and human interest stories suck too. If you read a recipe on line, it might look good, but to really enjoy it, you still have to buy the ingredients, and prepare the dish, and even then, you might not enjoy it. You have to spend the money. You have to do the work. You have to follow their instructions, like some indentured servant, before you get to enjoy anything. They get to tell you what to do. You just do what you are told and eat what they tell you to eat. How pathetic!
Reading a blog is enough work, I say, and I expect something for it. I should get a laugh, a chuckle, a grin, or at least a fresh, if somewhat twisted, perspective, and I shouldn’t have to make a mess of my kitchen in the process. If I spend my time and energy to read something, dammit, I better enjoy it, right now! I write “Like You’ve Got something Better To Do” for people like me; people who hate to read, love to laugh, and demand immediate gratification. If you read “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” regularly, you know that I deliver the goods, week in, and week out.
Today, I ask you to give back a little. Please cast your vote for “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” in the North Coast Journal’s “Best of Humboldt” readers poll. We have entered the very last hours of this campaign. Today, Weds. September 5, at 4pm, the NCJ will close the survey, and they will accept no votes after that time, so please, do not delay, do it today. Cast your vote now.
If you’ve already voted for “Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do” as Humboldt’s best blog in the 2012 NCJ readers poll, I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Thank you and God Bless America!!!