Category Archives: Uncategorized

“Back to the Land” Mythbusting Pt. 2

mythbuster method

Last week’s post inspired more comments than usual, both here and on facebook. Since my audience gave me so much to think about, I thought I might double-dip on the subject of the mythology of the “back to the landers” I realize that my perspective seems blasphemous, and many of you have never heard such heresy before. No surprise there.

no-surprise abuse of power

Boomers, no matter what they do, have always been infatuated with themselves, The local merchants, who overcharge them for everything, just tell them what they want to hear. The non-profits around here are loath to criticize them, dependent as they are on dope yuppies’ donations, likewise with the sharecroppers, trimmers, and working stiffs. These people are so polite that they won’t even ask anyone around here what they do for a living.

too-polite

Even the homeless people around here kiss dope yuppie ass. I can’t believe how many homeless or marginally housed people volunteer lots of hours and devote a tremendous amount of energy to help local organizations that mostly serve dope yuppies. That just seems ass backwards to me. Call me old-fashioned, but I think that the well-to-do should volunteer to help the less fortunate, rather than vice versa.

ViceVersa-Lick-It featuring problem

So, we’ve got dope yuppies, who celebrate themselves shamelessly and relentlessly. Around them, a small army of sycophantic merchants, politicians, administrators, working people and hangers-on compete with each other for the crumbs that fall from the dope yuppies’ table.

Sycophants

Which leaves, basically, me, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about the so-called “back to the landers”

You-Cant-Handle-the-Truth

One reader of last week’s post lamented that I hadn’t actually met any “real” back to the landers. I’ve discovered that every dope yuppie in SoHum believes themselves to be a “real” back to the lander, and that they all think of their neighbors as greed-heads, fucked-up drug addicts or both.

greed heads

Even the best of the back to the landers I know, the ones without the crazy collections of vehicles decaying in the yard, and piles of ridiculous useless stuff everywhere. The ones who have a little bit of imagination, build their own home, and do the whole harmonious, permaculture, native plant landscaping, composting toilet, solar electric, blah blah blah, even those people, don’t know when to stop.

know your parasites

As they get better at carpentry, their funky little cabins become elegant chalets, surrounded by effusive gardens. Peacocks roam the grounds, …along with servants. Sure, it’s lovely, but the scale is all wrong. Boomers do everything, too big.

too-big-first-world-problems

They grew up driving big-block V8 muscle cars. They gave us gigantic concerts, like Woodstock and Altamont, where the musicians look like ants, and sound like shit, and the audience amuse themselves with nudity and drug abuse. They couldn’t just drink a “cup ‘o Joe” like their parents, they have to have a double-shot, decaf, low-fat, triple-foam machiato with squirt of hazelnut syrup, and, of course, they don’t make that themselves. Hell no! It’s enough trouble just to order it. They expect us to make it for them, so they can consume our lives, as well as our future. Even cheap Mexican marijuana wasn’t good enough for them. They had to turn it into an expensive luxury product, so that poor kids would turn to cocaine and meth for a high they could afford.

crack cat

A reader suggested that the reason Boomers are so materialistic is that they were raised by depression-era parents, who never let them throw anything away. To make up for it, they gave us a world where everything is disposable, eating utensils, pens, lighters, flashlights, clothes, cameras, phones, furniture, stereos, TVs, computers. Nothing lasts, and nobody knows how to fix anything anymore. Kids today all know that the latest gadget won’t last half as long as a can of Spam, and that nothing in this world matters, except money. That’s the lesson the Boomers teach. It shouldn’t surprise them if the younger generation takes that lesson to heart.

money_matters

One reader commented, “I don’t recall taking a vow of poverty”. Far from it! Boomers spend like there’s no tomorrow, and thanks to them, there isn’t. Now nobody has to take a vow of poverty. We have poverty thrust upon us. The oceans have been fished-out and thoroughly polluted. The oil’s gone. There’s still plenty of natural gas, but they’re fracking the fuck out of our freshwater aquifers to get it. The only resource left to exploit is the lives of the descendants of the Baby Boomers, and the suck is on!

suck job

We look forward to lives of wage slavery lived for the benefit of bloodsucking landlords, and anyone who refuses to to participate in their own oppression can expect to be punished. They can expect to be kicked in the ribs by cops whenever they try to get some sleep, moved along by merchants whenever they sit down, denied access to bathrooms, water, food or shelter, and then made into scapegoats to be reviled and punished further for their poverty, punished until they die in the streets. I hear entirely too many dope yuppies and their suck-ups complaining about “the transient problem”. I see it differently. I think we have a “greedy boomer” problem.

boomers Jake Dimare quote

Another reader told of some back to the landers who were so poor that they could only afford the cheapest piece of land, but they managed to make it work for decades while keeping their “ethics intact”. Sure, …but they didn’t mind breaking a silly little law. They didn’t mind profiting from a really ugly policy. They didn’t mind converting forest to farmland. They didn’t mind moving on to land stolen through violence and genocide, and paying off the violent thugs who run this whole “private property” racket, namely, the county government. In the same sense, I could say that I survived the economic downturn with my investment portfolio “intact”.

ethics no

I’m not saying that the back to the landers are bad people. People do the best that they can for themselves. I’m saying that poor people don’t have the option of buying any land any more.

boomers rise

Things are not the same.

not the same the world

When you leave the world, worse off than you found it, you can’t call yourself a “success”. Yes, things were already going downhill when the Boomers took over, but they didn’t have to press the accelerator so hard, and now that they’ve wrecked the car, no one wants to hear about how well they think they handled that next-to-last turn.

wreck the car

We all inherited a diabolical economic system, a looming environmental crisis, and a culture in collapse. The Baby Boomers were the first generation to realize that, and to know that it was true. They knew the truth about Viet Nam. They read Silent Spring. They saw the Earth from space. They knew. …and collectively, they said, “Let’s do it up!”

Boomers go for bust


The Big Picture; A Unique Musical Performance on KMUD

The Big Picture 6 cov

I’m really excited about my partner, Amy Gustin’s, latest radio show: Episode #9 of The Living Earth Connection, titled The Big Picture. The Big Picture airs Sunday March 30 at 9:30 AM Pacific Time on KMUD, Redwood Community Radio. You can also listen to it online by clicking “listen now” or by searching the archive @ http://www.kmud.org.

kmud-radio-logo

The Big Picture airs during a time-slot known as The Spiritual Perspectives Hour, and Amy’s show, The Living Earth Connection, airs only on the fifth Sunday of the month, and only in those odd three or four months a year that have five Sundays. I know that most religious programming sucks, but I promise you that this show will be unlike anything you have ever heard on the radio before.

nothing you've ever heard before

I’m really excited about this show because it combines Amy’s Animist message with my electric didgeridoo music in a way that took on a life of its own. The resulting one hour-long musical performance, traces the history of life on Earth from its earliest microscopic origins through the evolution of the human brain, and uses science to reveal the ecology of beliefs that underpin the current environmental crisis. That’s why we call this project, “The Big Picture“.

animist vision

The combination of spoken word and didgeridoo in The Big Picture engages the whole brain, synthesizing the rational intellect with the wordless depths of the emotional subconscious in a way you’ll find both entertaining and edifying.  I hope you’ll tune in.

tune in


Mythbusting the “Back to the Land” Movement

Mythbusting the “Back to the Land” Movement

mythbusters

The time has come to set the record straight about one of the most pervasive myths about Humboldt County. I knew I had to take on this subject when I read Kieth Easthouse’s coverage of the recent “Environmental Cannabis Forum” held at the Mateel Community Center recently. At the forum, Tony Silvaggio, an HSU professor with the Humboldt Institute for Interdisciplinary Marijuana Research, sited, as a factor in the increasing environmental degradation associated with marijuana cultivation…

HiiMR logo

“The children of the back-to-the landers who first started growing pot in Humboldt’s backcountry tend to be more materialistic and consumer-oriented – and less concerned about the environment than their parents.”

old hippies

Yeah, blame it on the kids. Surely, those idealistic “back to the landers” with their tiny, hand built eco-sensitive scrap-wood cabins and their 20 year-old trucks, who grow just enough marijuana each year to pay their property taxes, support their favorite environmental and social justice organizations and maybe, if it’s a good year, put some new tires on their old truck, couldn’t be responsible for destroying our watersheds, could they? No, that kind of “back to the lander” has nothing at all to do with the environmental damage wrought by the marijuana industry, mainly because that kind of “back to the lander” doesn’t exist in Humboldt County. At least I’ve never met one. That kind of “back to the lander” is a mythological beast, like leprechauns, Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.

bigfoot-kiss

You might think of a “back to the lander” as someone who abandoned the exploding plastic inevitable of American consumerism, for a simple life close to nature, but “back to the lander” means something entirely different in Humboldt County. The reason we call Humboldt’s dope-yuppy Baby Boomers “back to the landers” is because of what they do. They grow marijuana, sell it, use the money to buy stuff, and then they haul that stuff, back to the land.

haul junk

From what I’ve seen, I’m sure a Humboldt edition of the reality TV show Hoarders would shock most American consumers. I’ve seen some really ridiculous stuff in people’s yards around here, like airplanes without wings,

plane in woods

…speedboats without engines,

speedboat

…Italian sports cars overgrown with poison oak,

car sports overgrown

and a seven-foot-tall fiberglass caricature or a dachshund’s head that once festooned the facade of a long defunct fast food franchise.

doggie diner head

I know where there is a padlocked, windowless building, way out in the sticks, packed to the rafters with antique pinball machines that don’t work, celebrity look-alike dolls, still in their original packaging, boxes full of fake vomit and rubber dog poop and 15 cases of 30 year old Harley-Davidson brand wine coolers.

harley davidson wine coolers

Once, while digging in a garden in Humboldt County, my shovel hit something hard. I dug it out, brushed it off, and found myself holding a black statuette of a bird, that I immediately recognized as The Maltese Falcon from the old Humphrey Bogart movie. I kid you not, I dug up The Maltese Fucking Falcon in a Humboldt County garden.

the maltese-falcon

Do you remember The Maltese Falcon? The Maltese Falcon is a movie about an object, so immeasurably valuable in itself, that people willingly sacrifice their lives in order to possess it, only to discover it worthless as it crumbles to pieces in their hands.

Finding The Maltese Falcon, chipped and scratched, in a Humboldt County grow scene seemed appropriate, even perfect for the culture I encountered here. I had no interest in keeping it. I asked my landlord, a gray-haired boomer, of course, about it. Of course, it was his. He told me it was expensive, and that he bought four of them. He told me how much he loved The Maltese Falcon and how inspiring he found the idea of owning an object of immeasurable value. Again, I kid you not. That is a true “back to the lander”.

covetous creatures

I know another “back to the lander” who has at least 20 aquariums, no fish in any of them, but if he finds an aquarium at a good price, or one of unusual shape or size, he will immediately buy it. I know a “back to the land” woman who has at least 50 ornate glass and brass overhead electric lighting fixtures strewn about her land even though her house has no electricity. There are barns, sheds, outbuildings and trailers stuffed to the gills with books, records, clothing, stereo equipment, musical instruments, dishes, pottery, art, antiques, and memorabilia of all kinds, scattered all over Humboldt County, “back to the land” Baby Boomers responsible for all of it.shed

 

Do you ever wonder what happened to all of the bowling balls and pins from all of the bowling alleys that went out of business in the last 20 years? I’ve seen piles of them, big piles of bowling balls and bowling pins, deep in the woods, on a rural parcel in Humboldt County. Don’t ask me why.

Bowling_Balls in the woods

And don’t get me started on the rolling stock. If it has wheels and an engine, some “back to the lander” collects them. They don’t fix them, or restore them, or even try to keep rats from taking up residency in them or forest duff from burying them, but they do collect them. Cars, trucks, motorcycles, go-carts, quads, scooters, vans, Rvs, buses, ambulances, Zambonis, hearses, street-sweepers, cherry-pickers, rock-hoppers, forklifts, bulldozers, backhoes, jeeps, amphibious landing craft, armored personnel carriers, and railroad locomotives, you name it, and some “back to the lander’ bought one, dragged it out into the woods and then lost interest in it.

locomotive

I’ve offered to help some of these people clean their junk up and get it out of the forest, in exchange for allowing me to stay on their property while I did it. They all looked at me like I just offered to help them dispose of a sack of solid gold Krugerrands. They tell me how rare and valuable all of their stuff is, and how much money they paid for it. Then they tell me how much money they want for it, and how much more money I would have to pay every month for the privilege of living in their junkyard. So, mostly, they live alone on 40, 80 or 160 acres, while they bury themselves in, rapidly deteriorating, consumer-grade junk.

HOARDING-path

The Baby Boomers are the most materialistic generation in the history of humanity, and Humboldt’s “back to the lander” Baby Boomers are the most insanely, and I mean pathologically, dysfunctionally, psychotically, coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs, insanely materialistic Baby Boomers I have ever met. I find it really hard to imagine how their kids could possibly top them.

coo coo clinton

True, the children of the “back to the landers” do like their pickup trucks, which cruise conspicuously all over town, but I think the younger generation gets a bad rap, because a lot of them would like to own land themselves. In order to do that, they have to buy it from those “back to the landers”. The “back to the landers” have a formula for determing the value of their land. First, they multiply the price they paid for the land originally, by 10 or 15. Then they add up how much they think all of the crap they’ve dragged onto it, would be worth, if there were anyone on Earth stupid enough to buy it. They then double that number, and add it to the asking price.

boomer 2

So, while the “back to the land” Baby Boomers were able to buy land for $20,000-$30,000, and sold the marijuana they grew on it for $3,000-$4,000 a pound, their kids are buying land for $300,000-$5000,000 and selling their pot for $1,000-$2,000 a pound and spending $10 for every 100 pounds of “back to the lander” crap they haul to the transfer station. Yes, the younger generation may be responsible for a lot of enormous water-sucking, forest-clearing mega-grows, because they really need the money, but as far as the materialism goes, their parents, Humboldt’s “back to the land” Baby Boomers still reign supreme.

boomer leeches


Bizarre Butt Embellishments

Bizarre Butt Embellishments

butt tattoo in progress

I see by my calendar that today is Ass Wednesday.  Ass Wednesday marks the beginning of Lint, the time of year when winter clothes traditionally begin to break down from being worn constantly.

dryer-lint

In honor of this pointlessly offensive introduction, I present this pointlessly tasteless exhibit of bizarre butt embellishments.

butt tattoo bugTalk about having a bug up your butt, and continuing in the automotive theme…

butt tattoo trucksThese trucks haul ass!  But this probably gets better gas mileage…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA…and speaking of rude gestures…

butt tattoo fuck youFuck me?  Please.

butt tattoo stop…but I was just getting started.

butt tattoo battery terminalsProbably just needs a jump start.

butt tattoo insert coin… or maybe it requires a deposit

Butt-Tattoo seven dwarvesHi-ho  hi-ho, it’s off to work we go…

butt tattoo wheres waldoNow that you know where he’s been, maybe you don’t want to find him.

butt tattoo elmer fuddscwewy wabbit

butt tattoo Tiger-ButtMeow!  I think this is a fortune tookie.  What’s my lucky number?

butt tattoo 28…and I’ll bet 28 to bring up the rear.

butt tattoo packmanbut this is not my game, or my ass for that matter.

butt tattoo big appleand New York is not my town.

butt tattoo brainThis is your brain on ass, so remember…

butt tattoo crack killsSo, where are you from?

butt tattoo ca grown…and how about you?

butt tattoo barcodelong way from home, I guess.

butt tattoo antlersnice rack!

butt tattoo niupplesnice rack!

butt tattoo primeGovernment inspected!

butt tattoo boot…rejected, and given the boot.

butt tattoo-ass-1ass art.

butt tattoo 1more ass art.

butt tattoo colorfulcolorful ass art.

Butt Tattoos designsMonochromatic ass art.

butt tattoo shadesass art portrait.

butt tattoo black lightBlacklight ass art

butt tattoo freshsome fresh ass art.  bet she doesn’t sit down much for the next few days.  Speaking of painful…

butt tattoo bramblesHemorrhoids?  Maybe you should see a doctor…

butt tattoo dr phil…like Dr. Phil, and speaking of celebrities…

butt tattoo kanye…who is Kanye?

butt tattoo hulk hoganIn a no-holds barred cage match, who would win, Hulk or…

butt tattoo homerHomer?  and while we’re watching the Simpsons, how about…

butt tattoo simpsons

…and…

butt tattoo bart skull…and…

butt tattoo worst tattoo everPlenty of competition in that field.  especially if you consider this…

butt tattoo human centipede…or this…

butt tattoo cockroach…or this…

butt tattoo taco bellI’d call this a warning sign.

butt tattoo kiss thisSome asses can be demanding…

..butt_tattoo spank me…while some just crave attention

butt tattoo handsSome asses were meant for each other…

butt tattoo shake and bakeIt’s better than frying!

butt tattoo rihanna-ass-tattooSome asses get you high….

butt tattoo eagle…while others have wings…

butt tattoo butterfly1…to fly over the asstrophere.

butt tattoo gucciGucci, putting the ass in class.

butt tattoo biblicalSome asses are biblical…

butt tattoo balloon boy…some asses are topical, even if they are out of date…

butt tattoo tags…and some asses can say it in 140 characters or less.

butt tattoo shit happens…and this is where it happens.

butt tattoo pooThe proof is in the poo-ding.

butt tattoo eeyoreWhy so glum?  Is it because we’ve come to the ass-end of this post?

butt tattoo eyesUntil next week, here’s looking at you!


Local Pig Blames Chinn for “Cockroaches”, Priest’s Murder

Local Pig Blames Chinn for “Cockroaches”, Priest’s Murder

Eureka, CA Businessman Rob Arkley

Eureka, CA Businessman Rob Arkley

If you want to know about the Humboldt County social milieu, this story says it all:

heart-says-it-all-sm

Long time Southern Humboldt resident, Lee Bullock, a 44 year old man, raised in Southern Humboldt, with a home, an address, and family in the area, got arrested after someone in Redway called the Sheriff about a man seen hiding in the bushes and acting “bizarre” in the early afternoon of this past New Year’s Eve. The cops came, picked up Bullock, and deduced that he was intoxicated on drugs of some kind.

arrest intoxicated man

That’s a pretty typical Humboldt County thing, and it happens every day around here. Drug use is not only the foundation of our local economy, it is a cherished tradition and way of life in Humboldt County, so sometimes we get a little wild and crazy. Even at 1:30 in the afternoon, Lee Bullock was probably not the first person arrested for public intoxication in Humboldt County that day, and he certainly wasn’t the last. This was New Year’s Eve, after all.

newyears_t460

According to the cops, Bullock became “combative” while in custody. From Bullock’s mug shot in the papers, you can easily see that someone became combative with him. None of the cops reported injuries, but Bullock was taken to the hospital upon arrival at the jail in Eureka. Again, nothing unusual there. Cops beat people up all the time in Humboldt County.

lee bullock

After being cleared by medical personnel, Bullock was returned to jail, in Eureka, more than 60 miles from his home west of Redway, where they held him in custody until just after midnight. At a quarter-to-one in the morning, just in time for last call on New Year’s Eve, Sheriff’s deputies released Lee Bullock, on his own recognizance, into Downtown Eureka, the most densely populated city in Humboldt County.

eureka at night

Even though Lee Bullock has lived in Humboldt County for a long time, and has family in the area, no one came to the jail to pick him up. Either he did not call anyone, or the people he called were indisposed, declined the invitation, or failed to show up.

didnt show up

Look, it’s a long drive from Southern Humboldt to Eureka, and it was New Year’s Eve for God’s sake. Even if he had reached someone who cared enough to make the trip, what are the chances they were sober enough to drive?

Drunk-Driver

So, Lee Bullock, no doubt crashing hard from his recent drug binge, found himself wandering aimlessly around Eureka’s residential neighborhoods on a cold night, without adequate clothing, and no way to get home. A little while later, a Eureka PD cop encountered him hanging around St. Bernard’s Catholic Church, and told him to go away.

st bernards

The next morning, Eureka parishioners found their priest, Father Eric Freed, bludgeoned to death in the rectory of St. Bernard’s Church, and in Southern Humboldt, Father Freed’s car was found parked in the woods near the Bullock family home west of Redway. The cops put two and two together, and called the Bullocks to inquire about Lee’s whereabouts. Rather than have the Sheriff come all the way out to the Bullock family home, Lee’s family agreed to deliver Lee Bullock to the police for questioning.

st bernards rectory murder

Why would a Southern Humboldt family be so eager to drive Lee to the cops to face arrest for murder, especially when they couldn’t be bothered to pick him up from jail just the night before? I assume that was because the Bullock family home, like virtually every home in Southern Humboldt, was full of illegal drugs, guns and cash, and they didn’t want cops nosing around. That’s just a guess.

drugs guns and cash

So, Lee Bullock’s step-father got in the truck and took Lee for a ride, without telling his step-son that he was delivering Lee to the authorities to face murder charges. What did Lee’s step-father say to Lee to get him in the truck? “Come on Lee, beer run!” Whatever line he used, apparently it worked.

beer run

If Lee’s step-father would have gotten in the truck the night before, he could have saved everyone involved, especially Father Freed, a lot of headaches. As it turned out, they didn’t get far down the road before Sheriff’s deputies pulled them over and arrested Lee Bullock for the murder of Father Eric Freed.

priest-suspect

Motive: a ride home.

motive for murder a ride home

Now that’s a Humboldt County story, but that’s not the Humboldt County story.

story time

The real icing, and it doesn’t get much icier, on this Humboldt County cake comes to us from the icy heart of Eureka bankster, bloodsucker, and all around swine, Rob Arkley Jr.

icy

In a letter to the Lost Coast Outpost, Mr. Arkley expressed his feelings about this awful tragedy by blaming the murder Father Freed on Eureka philanthropist Betty Chinn.

betty-chinn-

Betty Chinn works to help poor and homeless people in Eureka, and the need is great. The recent Point-In-Time survey of homeless people, found more than 1,500 people living outside in Humboldt County in the dead of Winter. Betty Chinn does her best to help some, by no means all, of them get a meal, a shower, and maybe a place to sleep at night.

betty chinn outreach

She can’t possibly help all of them, but Ms. Chinn has helped a lot of people who have fallen on hard times, put their lives back together.

chinn obama

Naturally, you can see why this caused a deranged SoHum druggie to murder a Eureka priest.

naturally

That’s how Rob Arkley Jr sees it, anyway. In that letter to the Lost Coast Outpost, Arkley erroneously blames Father Freed’s murder on nameless “transients” who he describes as “cockroaches”, and he blames Betty Chinn because, he claims, the services she provides to the poor, attracts more of them to Eureka.

cockroaches

Of course this is ludicrous, but Rob Arkley Jr is the richest man in Humboldt County, so people get paid to listen to him, and local politicians kiss his behind. Arkley hates poor people, even though, as a banker and real-estate tycoon, making people poor is what he does for a living. Arkley hates seeing poor people around town. He views them as vermin. He’d put poison out for them if he could.

Homelessdude-poison horz

Instead, he does the next best thing. Rob Arkley Jr has undertaken a one man, albeit one rich man, campaign to starve poverty out of Eureka. He wants to cut the already meager, county expenditures on social services to the poor, and goes the extra mile by smearing the good name of anyone who dares help the poor privately. That’s the kind of guy he is.

arkley would

Imagine what it would be like if Rob Arkley Jr were different. Imagine what Rob Arkley Jr the millionaire owner of Security National Bank and Humboldt County real-estate tycoon, might say about the murder of Father Eric Freed, if Arkley were an honest man. I think it would sound something like this:

Eureka Embarrassment Rob Arkley Jr,  What if he were honest?

Eureka Embarrassment Rob Arkley Jr, What if he were honest?

You want to know why that priest, what’s his name, got killed? That priest got killed because the underground marijuana industry that drives the economic engine of Humboldt County, not to mention my own personal fortune, relies very heavily on black-market drug dealers.

drug dealer

Wherever you have lots of black-market drug dealers, you are bound to have lots of black-market drugs. Whenever you have lots of black-market drugs, you can expect an abundance of drug-crazed freaks like Lee Bullock.

speed kills

We get the picture Freddy

Now that this underground economy is a couple of generations old, we’re breeding drug-crazed freaks, like Lee Bullock, in the hills all over Humboldt County. These drug-crazed freaks don’t care about anything but themselves and their drugs, and they’ll kill anything that gets in their way. I know that because I have a lot in common with those freaks, except that I don’t care about anything but myself and my money.

Eureka, CA Businessman Rob Arkley

Eureka, CA Businessman Rob Arkley

Now, whenever any of those drug-crazed freaks act-up, anywhere in Humboldt County, the Sheriff hauls them to jail, holds them for a few hours, then quietly turns them loose, in the dead of night, into the quiet residential neighborhoods of Eureka. That’s why father what’s his name got killed.”

Father Eric Freed.  Eureka Priest murdered in the early morning of New Year's Day

Father Eric Freed. Eureka Priest murdered in the early morning of New Year’s Day

Oh, and by the way,” an honest Arkley might add, “That’s also why we have so many homeless people in Humboldt County. Since most of the residential housing in Humboldt County has been converted into, much more lucrative, commercial marijuana farms,

indoor pot farm

…the remaining, non-drug-dealing populace, has been put out in the cold,

Homeless-Family-

…and I’m damn sick and tired of seeing them there. I think we should put out poison.”

poison1

Unfortunately, Rob Arkley Jr is not an honest man, and he did not say that.

arkley dishonest

Nonetheless, that is the truth about Humboldt County.

humboldt-county


Duck Dynasty; a Civil Rights Victory?

Duck Dynasty; a Civil Rights Victory?

don't watch duck dynasty

Judging from what I’ve read in recent news stories, the things my mother tells me about Duck Dynasty are true. I’ve never seen the show myself, but my mother says: “Duck Dynasty is awful! That show makes me sick to my stomach! The men in that show are disgusting. They’re stupid, bigoted, racist, sexist jerks. Whenever I see their ugly faces they make me so angry! And you know what bothers me most about Duck Dynasty? All of the guys on that show look JUST LIKE YOU!!!”

duckdynasty n me

Now if my mom had said, “Hey John, have you heard of this band: Whitesnake? I heard something by them the other day and thought they might be a band you would like.” I would have dismissed her opinion completely. However, for as little as she knows about my taste in popular music, the woman knows her TV, and she knows obnoxious behavior when she sees it, so I believe that what she says about Duck Dynasty is true, but a couple of things puzzle me about the whole Duck Dynasty phenomena.

duck dynasty dont ask me

First: How is it possible that people who look like me have a show on commercial television? Call me old-fashioned, but I remember TV as remarkably well lit place, inhabited entirely by attractive people. I thought that was the reason people watched TV. That is, to fill their ugly lives with images of attractive people. Apparently those days are long gone.

duck dynasty ugly beard

Second: Why do the Duck Dynasty guys want to look like me? Did my didgeridoo playing inspire them to make duck calls? Has this blog influenced them in any way, or do they just like the way I look? I suppose it is possible that the Duck Dynasty guys arrived at this look independently, the same way I did, through extreme, long term neglect of personal hygiene, but still, why would people who want to be on TV make that kind of investment in slovenliness? Did they think it would help their careers? It sure hasn’t helped mine.

Duck_Dynasty_late and dirty

Maybe success requires more than simple ugliness. Perhaps success demands stupidity. If that were the case, I’d expect more people to enjoy the fruits of success. I’ve seen lots of stupid, ugly people, and until now, I’ve never seen any of their faces on a beer cozy before, and I doubt many of them have their own TV show, but most of them watch a lot of TV.

cat_drinking_beer_watch_tv

I guess Hollywood has gotten the message that stupid ugly people want to see more people like themselves on TV. Maybe the bigwig TV moguls have felt the pressure from the “Ugly Liberation” and “Stupid Pride” movements. I guess you could see Duck Dynasty as a sort of perverse civil rights achievement, the way women everywhere knew that they had gained stature in society when tobacco companies began marketing to them, or the way gay people felt the first time they saw an Ikea commercial targeting them as suckers for their cheap flat-packaged furniture.

Ikea-Gay

Now that I think about it, I can’t think of a better way to tap the vast reserves, and growing stockpiles of otherwise useless ugliness and stupidity, than with a show like Duck Dynasty. Stupidity and ugliness are clearly Americas most abundant renewable resource. In recent years stupidity and ugliness have spread like kudzu, choking out beauty and smothering intelligence and creativity everywhere. It’s about time someone found some use for it and cut it back a bit.

kudzu

I wouldn’t count on Duck Dynasty for reducing the amount of stupidity and ugliness in America. No, Duck Dynasty celebrates the ugly and stupid. It encourages stupid ugly people to come out of the closet, and it tells young people that it’s OK to be stupid and ugly. Duck Dynasty helps people get in touch with their inner ugliness and stupidity, and encourages them to explore their stupid and ugly tendencies.

dukkk dynasty

Even if we forget the show altogether, that Duck Dynasty swag I see (everywhere I look) promotes the ugly stupid agenda all on its own.

duck-dynasty-suckers-630x472

Face it. If you are stupid enough to buy a Duck Dynasty T-shirt, you are stupid enough. If you weren’t ugly enough before you bought the shirt, you certainly will be, once you put it on.

duck-dynasty-hey-si-head tshirt

Further, Duck Dynasty helps make society more tolerant of stupid, ugly people, and before long, thanks to Duck Dynasty, we will all accept stupid and ugly as normal. I mean, stupid and ugly are already pretty normal.  However, Duck Dynasty celebrates a special kind of stupid and ugly, that real ugly kind of stupid, and that real stupid kind of ugly that they try to weed out in public schools, but that still flourishes in places like Texas, Mississippi, and Alabama, and in smaller pockets all over this country.

duck dynasty camo

Duck Dynasty makes that kind of stupid ugliness seem normal, healthy, fun, and entertaining, and provides stupid and ugly role models for millions of young Americans to learn from. Isn’t that the kind of civil rights victory we need right now?

duck-dynasty-osama


The 12 Days of Christmas

The 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the second day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the third day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

three French maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

five folded things,

5 folded things1

…four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

six Lisas playing,

6 lisa playing

…five folded things,

5 folded things1

…four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

seven Swanson’s dinners,

7 swansons dinners

…six Lisas playing,

6 lisa playing

…five folded things,

5 folded things1

…four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

eight filkers filking,

8 filkers filking

…seven Swanson’s dinners,

7 swansons dinners

…six Lisas playing,

6 lisa playing

…five folded things,

5 folded things1

…four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

nine women twerking,

9 women trerking

…eight filkers filking,

8 filkers filking

…seven Swanson’s dinners,

7 swansons dinners

…six Lisas playing,

6 lisa playing

…five folded things,

5 folded things1

…four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

ten Fords a leaping,

10 fords a leaping

…nine women twerking,

9 women trerking

…eight filkers filking.

8 filkers filking

…seven Swanson’s dinners,

7 swansons dinners

…six Lisas playing,

6 lisa playing

…five folded things,

5 folded things1

…four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

eleven diapers wiping,

11 diapers wiping

…ten Fords a leaping,

10 fords a leaping

…nine women twerking,

9 women trerking

…eight filkers filking.

8 filkers filking

…seven Swanson’s dinners,

7 swansons dinners

…six Lisas playing,

6 lisa playing

…five folded things,

5 folded things1

…four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my blogger shared with me,

twelve plumbers plumbing,

12 plumbers plumbing

…eleven diapers wiping,

11 diapers wiping

…ten Fords a leaping,

10 fords a leaping

…nine women twerking,

9 women trerking

…eight filkers filking.

8 filkers filking

…seven Swanson’s dinners,

7 swansons dinners

…six Lisas playing,

6 lisa playing

…five folded things,

5 folded things1

…four angry birds,

4 angry-birds

…three French Maids,

3 french maids

…two Turtles songs,

…and a Partridge Family episode for free.

Merry Christmas!

Now…. What did you get me?


The Giving Season

The Giving Season

giving season

As 2013 winds to a close, once again we find ourselves in “The Giving Season”. The time of year when we take a moment to show our appreciation for the people who matter to us, and to the folks who serve us faithfully all year long.

faithful-service

Of course, a lot of the people who serve you faithfully all year long, like your postman, barista or auto-mechanic, your kids school teacher and bus driver, your hooker, drug dealer and bartender, or if you live around here, your crew of trimmers, those people all get paid for their work. Believe me, those people wouldn’t lift a finger for you, if it weren’t for the fat paychecks they take home week after week. So, fuck them! Don’t waste your generosity on those douche nozzles.

douche nozzle

Instead, this year, give generously to the people who really deserve it. Give to the people who work hard for you all year, every week, rain or shine, and ask for nothing in return for their tireless efforts and diligence. People who make it their priority to provide you with interesting, amusing, and mildly arousing entertainment every week, free of charge, and without compensation, acting purely from the goodness of their hearts, for the benefit of all of humanity. In other words, people like me, your humble blogger at Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do.

lygsbtd frace t-shirt

I honestly cannot think of anyone who deserves your generous financial gift more than I do, and if you take the time to think about it carefully, I think you’ll agree. Don’t make the stupid mistakes that trap so many gullible saps into supporting greedy, undeserving scam artists, while good, hard-working people like me persevere through the cold, dark winter months without so much as a “thank-you” from the faceless masses who show up here to consume my work anonymously, leaving nothing of themselves but the statistics that record their activity.

statistics_big

Lots of people give money to help the poor around the holidays, and I can hardly think of a dumber waste of money. Look, I don’t have any money. I’m poor, but you don’t see me standing on the side of the road looking pathetic, flying a cardboard sign, and playing on your sympathies. I don’t do that because I don’t play people for saps.

sap

The poor are just a bottomless pit. That’s why they call it “pity”. Don’t throw your money into it. The poor aren’t poor because they don’t have enough money; the poor are poor because the rich have no use for them, and the middle-class would rather kiss rich ass than stand shoulder to shoulder with the poor against the 1%. I spit in the eye of the rich and the middle-class, and call them on their bullshit, while the poor who stand around begging, just play the rich and middle-class for suckers, and exploit them for their pity without challenging the status quo.

status-quo-10

Some people prefer to give money to organizations that help the poor, rather than giving to poor people individually, but these organizations play you for rubes too. The Salvation Army hires thousands of “bell-ringers” every holiday season just to suck up all of the money that would otherwise go directly into the pockets of poor people. That is, if business owners didn’t harass, kick and call the cops on every legitimately poor person who comes within 30 ft of their business. Merchants love these “bell-ringers” almost as much as they despise and detest real poor people.

bell_ringer

The money that you drop into the Salvation Army kettle goes to pay a literal army of salaried administrators, who enjoy comfy heated offices, medical benefits, and paid vacation time. They spend their days deciding which projects to fund that will make them look good in the public’s eye, while they dream up new ways to capitalize on the pity of the stupid. What is more obnoxious, a paid asshole who never stops ringing that goddamned bell, or a homeless beggar with a nice quiet sign? Take my advice, ignore them both, and give to me, the one you neither see nor hear.

__hear_no_evil__see_no_evil__speak_no_evil

Some people like to give money to environmental organizations. These groups suck worse than organizations that help the poor. I don’t care whether it’s Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, World Wildlife Federation, Natural Resources Defense Council, PETA, or any of the fucking PIRGs, they’re all full of the same bullshit. They’re all just a bunch of spoiled brat white kids who would rather take pictures of dead whales, tortured lab animals, or disgusting landfills full of toxic waste than get a job killing whales, torturing lab animals or making massive amounts of pointless consumer garbage.

Landscape

Every year we have more environmental organizations, and every year the environmental crisis grows more dire. Stop throwing good money after bad, and cut those suckers off.

cutoff 5

The same goes for social justice organizations like the ACLU, Doctors Without Borders, or the Southern Poverty Law Center.  Doctors and lawyers are the blood-sucking scum floating at the top of the cesspool we call modern society. If doctors and lawyers think they can do something about the injustice and inequality in the world, they should do it with the vast sums of money we already overpay them for creating that injustice and inequality in the first place. Don’t give those greedy bastards one more dime than you absolutely have to.

lawyer-vs-doctor

Finally, too many people donate money every year to support public media like PBS, NPR and Community Radio. For God’s sake don’t get fleeced by these shysters. So what if you let Big Bird babysit your kids or like to watch taxpayer funded programming from some socialist country that forces people to pay for it. That’s no reason to open your wallet for them.

big bird begging

Whenever a publicly funded media outlet asks for money, they always like to remind us how much better they are than Fox News. So what! That’s like gonorrhea asking for money because it’s better than AIDS. Look, we’re all media here. Media ain’t gonna save the fucking world folks. I’m not saying that public media is as bad as a case of “the clap”, but there’s a good argument to be made that we’d all be better off without any of it. There’s some news you’ll never here on public media. Here’s some more: Public media is one of the most overfed pigs at the public trough.

pigs_trough1

They all tell you that it’s non-commercial programming, but that doesn’t stop them from interrupting every fifteen minutes to tell you that the show was paid for by “Saps like you, and generous contributions from Archer Daniels Midland, Cramming Our Food Down Your Throat 247365, Warehouser, Clear-cutting Old-Growth Forests So We Can Plant More Trees, or Massey Energy, We Mine Coal… Fuck You.

massey_energy

Yes, all of those public media outlets enjoy taxpayer subsidies, and suck-up to every evil corporation on the planet for the billions of dollars they give, just for the phony respectability that public media gives them. That’s why you never hear anything like the biting social criticism you read here at lygsbtd, on public media. Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do challenges the right, the left, and everyone in the middle. You won’t get that on PBS, NPR, or even community radio.

PBS

All of those public media outlets know where their money comes from, and they’re not about to rock the boat. I don’t know where my money comes from, because I don’t have any. and I’m all about rocking the boat, because the boat is sinking! Public media still wants you to believe in the system, because they are part of the system. They don’t care what the system does to you or your kids future, you’re already shark bait to them, and they’re the shark.

shark bait 1

For them, it’s a feeding frenzy, and they’re never satisfied. They always want more. It’s time to cut them off, and put your money behind the real independent voice of Southern Humboldt County, me, and this blog Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do. Your kids will never forgive you if you don’t.

never forgive

I don’t take money from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, because I can’t deal with the paperwork involved. I don’t take money from corporations. I mean, I would, if any of them offered me any, but so far they haven’t. Any corporations looking for favorable coverage from a hot, edgy new-media outlet, I’m listening, but until we make a deal, you are fair game.

Fair_Game

Until now, I have not received even one-cent, from anyone, for producing this blog. Yet, every week, I give you more. I give you more humor, more pictures, more social commentary, more science, more economics, more big words, more of myself than I give to my beloved partner Amy, who’s feeling a little unappreciated right now. So how about it folks? I could sure use some help right about now. My truck broke down last week and it’s going to cost more than a grand to fix it.

truck broke down

If you enjoy reading this blog, and if you’ve gotten this far, you must, click that donate now button. Give a hundred bucks to keep me, lygsbtd, my truck, and my mechanic, going strong in 2014.

2014-marketing-strategy

Can’t afford a whole Benjamin? I understand that times are tough. How about a dollar week? $52, that’s just one dollar per post for all of 2014. It would really mean a lot to me.

In fact, as a thank-you gift, for any contribution of $25 or more, I will send you this lovely Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do coffee mug.

lygsbtd mug

This is a really nice mug. It holds 16oz of your favorite beverage. It has the Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do logo on the side. It’s a good quality ceramic mug, and I’m happy to send it to you for $25. Of course, the real prize is this blog: Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do, and your donation will keep it coming to you all year in 2014.  thanks for your generous support!


300th Post at Like You’ve Got Something Better To Do

300th post at LYGSBTD

300 club

Today I’m proud to present to you the 300th post at Like You’ve Got Something Better to Do.  Can you believe it?  300 posts and still going strong.  In addition to 300 occasionally humorous essays, you’ll also find over 3,000 pictures, silly pictures, sexy pictures, stolen pictures.  Every week, in addition  to the many hours that it takes me to compose these essays, I spend at least 4hours poring over pictures to illustrate each post.

300x205xGandalf-Studying-300x205-1.png.pagespeed.ic.oV69qGzkK4From time to time, in my quest for the perfect picture for a given paragraph, I come across a picture that that doesn’t quite suit the post, but is just too good to pass up.  At the end of each year, I burn all of the pictures I have collected for the blog onto a couple of cds, and then never look at them again.  So, for today’s 300th post, I thought I’d share some of those pictures I liked well enough to save, but weren’t quite relevant enough to fit into another post.  Let’s get to it:

ninjas and piratesThis sign only makes me want to get inside more.  I hope it does the same for you.

Femen_photoI don’t know what these women are protesting, but I support them 100%, which leads to…

eyes on their breastsWomen with eyes on their breasts.  This would make talking to women so much easier.

residents groupiesOr maybe, if women’s eyes were bigger than their breasts, even if they only had one, it would be easier to look them in the eye.  These women are obviously Residents fans.  If you’ve never heard of the Residents, you should check them out.

While you’re watching the Residents, you might wish you had some LSD.  I know I do.

Blotter_LSD_Dumbo-tonguebut be careful with that stuff…

lsdand while you are soaring through outer space, you might appreciate a companion…

301969_255945184448476_1627384718_nclearly alcohol was involved, but what a great Halloween costume.  Speaking of costumes…

chicken costumena na na na na na na na na… Cockman!  Who could have imagined that a bat would be more popular..

Bats babyOk, I guess bats are pretty damn cute, but you know what is even cuter than baby bats…

smallest catThe world’s smallest cat.  Not a kitten, this cat is a year-and-a-half old in this photo.  You know who is not going to make it to one-and-a-half years old…

shoot the babyThis baby.  To explain this photo, I offer the following graph…

Stupid-Evil-Crazy21That explains a lot, doesn’t it.  but not this…

rocket bullManned space flight is always a bad idea, because of all the global warming gasses that it generates, but trying it indoors was an especially bad idea.   They should have read the sign…

fart control signanother sign of the times…

fastenersbecause in this modern era, everything is falling apart which makes us nostalgic for the old days, when products were made with quality, style and durability in mind.  like these…

furry keyholeGenuine mink…  and only $1, what a bargain.  What a great way to show off your great taste.  Of course, you’ll need a suit…

dorcad50

Yes, Dorcus made great suits for men.  I can’t imagine why they are not still in business, with innovative products like this.

dorcus sweatWow… What a Dorcus!  For more Dorcus fashions, I recommend: http://www.lileks.com/institute/dorcus/index.html

Speaking of fashion…

crab headImagine this woman’s surprise.  you might expect to be bitten by a crab, on the toe, while walking barefoot on the beach, but when they attack from above, in urban environments, we’re all in big trouble.  Speaking of trouble…

thankskillingIt’s revenge time, and we’ll never know what hit us because…

zombie apocalypseIt’s a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! or you’ll end up like this…

Bone chandelierThis chandelier is made entirely from human bones.  It’s part of the bone cathedral in the Czech Republic.  Here’s a video:

I think it’s beautiful, and find it inspiring.  Sometimes I think I’d like to make something nice like this out of my community.  But The Chech Republic doesn’t have a monopoly on morbid…

usasurpasses3_4We’re Number One!  We’re Number One!  We’re Number One!  And speaking of religion…

christianityBecause without Christians, we’d never have…

figs in hellYes, we have issues with food in this country.  Only in the USA would you see this…

fat guy eatingI think this photo sums up American culture perfectly.  I don’t know what the hell is going on, and I don’t want to.  Speaking of inscrutable…

Pee-for-victoryBut who could pass up the free chlamydia test kit.  So here’s your opportunity to participate…

restroomsI think that’s the most graphic restroom graphic I’ve ever seen.  I’m guessing the artist has never watched a woman pee outside before.  Finally, as an artist, I leave you with a quote, that explains this post.

great artists steal

 

 

 

 

 


Snip Snip Snip

Snip Snip Snip

snip-snip

Well it’s harvest time in Humboldt County again, and if you listen closely, you can hear the frantic snip snip snip of Fiscars clipping away in almost every house in the county. As is usual in October, we are enjoying some of the most beautiful weather of the year, and probably the last of the nice weather before the rains come with a vengeance. Alas, all many Humboldt County residents will see for the next several weeks is a pair of scissors and a seemingly endless stream of buds and nuggets for them to trim, style and coif.

buds scissors

As far as I can tell, this practice of carefully grooming every single bud was born here in Humboldt County, and it has to be one of the silliest developments in the whole ridiculous history of marijuana prohibition. In the Old World, they process raw cannabis, which grows wild, into hashish. Making cannabis into hash, even hand-rubbed hash, is a much more mechanical process that the careful, concentrated scissor work that has become the norm here in Humboldt County, and completely mechanical hash-making technology has been around for centuries.

hand rubbed hash

Here in the New World, marijuana herb has always been more popular than hash, but in Central and South America, where most of North America’s marijuana came from, historically, marijuana farmers use a much less labor intensive method to bring their product to market. These days people poo-poo the quality of that old brown Colombian weed, but personally I think it was better for all of us than the pricey, pampered, pedigreed weed that Humboldt County is famous for.

brown pot

Back in the ’60s and ’70s, we all smoked cheap, seedy brown pot from South America and thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Some of it was better than others, but it all got us high, and we all had plenty of it. We shared it with our friends. We passed lit joints to complete strangers, and smoking marijuana spawned a a huge social movement.

smoking-marijuana-cigarettes

We give LSD a lot of credit for the youth revolution of the ’60s, but marijuana, specifically, cheap imported marijuana from Colombia, Panama, and Mexico had a much bigger influence on our culture than LSD ever did, because it was something we shared, and because it was cheap enough that most of us could afford it. Not that LSD wasn’t a bargain too, and not that we didn’t share that as well, but the LSD experience was overwhelming, solitary and completely personal. Marijuana, on the other hand, as a raw herb, required a bit of preparation, smoking became a social activity, and we got high on marijuana together.snoop n santa

Back in those days we used double-wide rolling papers because most of us had never rolled a cigarette before, and it took a while for us to get the hang of it.

reefer rollers

We learned to use a card and an album cover to separate the herb from the seeds, and we picked the stems out manually. South American growers left the work of processing marijuana to the consumer, and I don’t remember anyone complaining about it.

stems and seeds

Cheap marijuana from South America got us to stand in a circle and talk. LSD never did that. There’s something particularly intimate about sharing a joint with half-a-dozen people, and before long, we started blowing each other “shotgun tokes”, which is almost like french kissing, but with smoke instead of tongue.

shotgun toke

In this way, abundant cheap marijuana fostered social cohesion, cultural identity and real communication, all of the precursors necessary to build a social movement. LSD never did that either.

Blotter_LSD_Dumbo

The South American method of marketing marijuana kept the price low, and put the work of processing the herb in the hands of the consumer. We weren’t just taking drugs, we learned new skills, broke down cultural barriers and built a movement that had as much to do with music, art and politics as it did with ingesting drugs.

salvador-dali-weed-isnpired-art

Marijuana was empowering that way, while LSD was simply overpowering.

ingesting blotter acid LSD

Today, marijuana is different. It’s just another consumer commodity. California growers produce sinsemilla from clones, completely eliminating seeds from the equation, and a small army of trimmers supply all of the alienated labor to prepare the herb for smoking.

alienated labor

All that’s left for the consumer to do is take the bud out of the bag, stuff it in a pipe, hold a flame to it and suck. We were all born knowing how to suck.

born_to_suck

We’re not learning anything here, except that if you want marijuana, you better have a lot of money. That really sucks!

money for weed

High prices and alienated labor have ruined marijuana. High marijuana prices make alcohol look more attractive. Anyone can afford to get drunk, so alcohol becomes the poor man’s best friend. That’s not a good thing. I mean, that’s really not a good thing, and we all pay an enormous price for it.

poor-alcoholic-in-depression

Marijuana used to be as cheap as beer, cheap beer. Poor people could afford it, but rich people liked it too, and only poor people knew where to get it. Cheap, plentiful South American marijuana literally saved lives and brought us together as a society, and cheap, plentiful marijuana still has the power to turn our culture around and save the world.

Marijuana-Saves-Lives

I believe that we are in the midst of an epic cultural battle between alcohol consciousness, and cannabis consciousness, and that the fate of the world hangs in the balance. Both capitalism and prohibition emerged out of alcohol consciousness. Overpopulation, environmental destruction and a hierarchical society are the hallmarks of alcohol consciousness. Most people, I fear, do not realize that all of civilization was triggered by the invention of beer, because, alas, most people don’t read my blog, but those of you who do, know this already. Yes, every aspect of our sick culture, including capitalism, prohibition, and the police state, has been shaped by 10,000 years of alcoholism.

drunken history

Marijuana culture, on the other hand, is much more ancient, and is not marked by overpopulation and environmental destruction, but by love, understanding and respect for all living things. It sounds corny as hell, but it’s true.

i smoke weed

Marijuana can save the world, but that will never happen as long as marijuana remains enslaved by capitalism, greed and prohibition.

negative effects of marijuana

Marijuana doesn’t need to be dolled up like a whore, without a leaf of dignity, and packed into a see-thru ziplock bag, for people to want it. In fact, everyone wants marijuana, whether they know it or not, and marijuana wants to grow wild and free. It likes to move in to disturbed patches of soil, and once established, it comes back year after year. Only the police state keeps it from taking over, and who needs that?

marijuana wild and free

There’s nothing wrong with seedy, shaggy pot. I don’t mind picking the seeds out of my smoke. It may seem like a chore, but seeds offer the promise of more marijuana to come.

shaggy

Buds full of seeds means more marijuana everywhere, and plenty of good seedy, shaggy green buds for everyone, free for the taking, like blackberries. That’s what marijuana should be. Free medicine, free herb, free stems, free seeds, free roots if you want ‘em, all together, and altogether free. That’s the fair market price for marijuana, and that’s the fair market price for love.

pot love shirt

Think about that as you snip, snip, snip away at those seedless sinsemilla buds you put so much time, energy and money into. Pimpin’ your ladies ain’t makin’ the world a better place. Quit dressing your pot like a whore and set it free.

sticky buds

Start yourself a patch, and let it take care of itself. Give it some water now and then, and you’ll enjoy plenty of good sweet smoke year after year, and have plenty to share with your friends. Keep an old album cover around, and get a shoebox for the seeds. Now put down those scissors and let’s party!

lets party


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